Even a Street Smart Mom Can Have a Off Day

It started like any other day until I found a message on my cell phone at 7:52am (never good news that early in the morning) that my baby sitter could not make it because she had things to do. As I stressed about what to do, I had to get the boys to school and get to my 9:15 meeting. The good news is I was able to separate that event and have a great meeting. I got some good feedback and the rest of my group did as well.

The bad news is that even with lots of calls and prayers, I was not able to solve my babysitting crisis. So I did the next best thing, I put David down for a nap and turned it into a phone meeting. The person I was meeting with did not appreciate the change and was polite at the meeting, but it was clear that this was not a good thing.

The truth is this is what I face on a regular basis. What do I do? I don't have answers, just more questions. For now I am trying to maintain my focus and remember that my son is safe upstairs sleeping and I had the meeting, albeit not under the best of circumstances. So tomorrow is another day. I hope tomorrow goes better.

Meet An Every Day Hero - A Streetsmart Mom

If you could find the term Streetsmart Mom in the dictionary, you would find a picture of my friend Becca there. We have become friendly over the last year as our sons are in Kindergarten together. The boys just love each other and play together beautifully. I had the opportunity to hear a little bit about Becca and her “story” and was amazed at her strength, courage, grace and sense of humor.

While our boys had a play date, we actually had a great conversation. They played so well together, we were able to finish many sentences. Becca has three boys; they are five, four and one. The 5-year old has Epilepsy with some complications. He is the sweetest boy. Due to the complications, he struggles in school. Her 4-year old was just diagnosed with Asper Autism. She believed something happened at birth, which caused some developmental delays, and then it became apparent to her that it was more serious than that. The youngest is doing great.

What makes Becca so special, if dealing with the above was not enough, is that she has been an advocate and the force behind having her boys taken care of. She spends countless hours reading and researching all the possibilities, the treatment options and what opportunities she has to help her boys have a successful life. She was the one who insisted that her son be tested for Autism. She recently quit the job she loved to be available for the boys. Their education will be a full time job and this is clearly the most important thing to Becca. She spends her days taking her boys to doctors and various therapies to help them adjust. Moreover, as they continue in school, she will be with them the whole way making sure they get whatever they need.

On days I feel down and wonder how can I go on, I think of Becca and know I can. She does everyday, under much greater pressure. Her gift to the world is unconditional love and a capacity to give like I have never seen.

When is the last day of School???

As the school year comes to a close I take time to pause. Then panic sets in. What are we going to do with the summer? As my mind races with options and I try to problem solve, I realize that the summer is going to come and go very fast. And when it is done, Thomas will be in First Grade. Wow, when did that happen?

I am not in a rush to get through summer. I want to savor it. I want to enjoy these precious moments. Yes, it means slowing down a little, and being creative with my work schedule, but in then end it will all work out.

My memories of summer include trips with my family to cool places, usually historic in nature where we learned things. My dad was a college professor so we were always in a learning mode. But mostly I remember it was not a rushed time. We played, we rested and we spent time with our family.

I hope to give my kids great memories for this summer and the summers to come.

If I had to do it over again . . .

I would do exactly the same thing. Well, maybe not exactly, but I cannot imagine not being where I am right now. I believe that today is a product of all of my yesterdays. Without the yesterdays, today would not have been, and I love today! Should I say, who is on first at this point.

What I can do is try not to repeat the mistakes of yesterday. I do have regrets, and I know I am not the same person I was, so I will not regret the same things. Now I look for wisdom to assure the minimum of regrets in the future.

Is it morning already?

I guess you can tell I am tired. I had a busy day yesterday. I had my usually sales training, then I made some sales calls. I picked up David and brought him home for his well needed nap. After getting my son down for a nap, I left him in the capable hands of my sister-in-law and headed off to two more meetings. Then it was time for picking up number two and home to make dinner. I was running a little late so I didn't have time to eat because I head to my Toastmaster's meeting. It was a great meeting. I won two ribbons (best Table Topics and best Evaluator) and I was elected President of the club.

The part that was exhausting wasn't all of that, I was actually energized by that. What exhausted me was the fact that my husband did not come home till 2:30 in the morning from a meeting. I am normally not a worrier, but last night as the clock ticked away and I still did not hear him come in, I found myself concerned. I felt relief when he walked in the door (I heard his car before he walked in). He was really excited about his meeting so I did not have the heart to be angry with him. But this morning I am feeling a little miffed. I know he's tired and driving and I know I am exhausted.

So what's the point of all of this, really none. But I will work on not worrying so much and maybe come up with a plan in the future that Jim will leave his cell phone on when he is going to be out late so I can reach him. For me the lesson learned is that a little planning and communication in advance will go a long way to a good nights sleep.

Here's Tammy! She even looks calming. I am grateful to her for her patience as I am a slow learner and need time to work through all this stuff. 

De-Clutter Your Outside and Free-up Your Inside

I know this is probably contrary to what people say, but I find it works for me. I realize the clutter is a sign of the clutter in yourself. But sometimes you have to start on the outside to be able to face the inside. So my mission has been to de-clutter and purge so that I can free up some space to work and transform my personal space into a place where I can be creative. So far I have 7 bags (big bags) of stuff and lots of other stuff (mostly baby things). Yes my boys are not longer babies so it is time to let go. I am not having more and those things are not my boys they are things. I have pictures for the memories. (I am talking to myself.)

In order to facilitate a smooth transition in this endeavor I have enlisted the help of a trusted advisor, my professional organizer. Tammy Burke with Organize It All has been instrumental in helping me break down these overwhelming tasks into small tasks that are manageable. I will be meeting her next week and I will have a van full of stuff that she will itemize. She will give the items back to me to give to the organization of my choice and also provide me with a spread sheet that I can utilize with my taxes. Yippee, I will have a well needed tax write off and it will save the time of haggling at a yard sale of the precious things my boys owned. I will also have the pleasure of knowing someone who needs these things will get them. It is win-win-win.

That is Streetsmart at its best.

Stop and Smell the Flowers

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon – instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.” Dale Carnegie

It is so true. As Mother's Day approaches tomorrow, I am reminded of my little roses, Thomas and David and my big rose Jim. Sometimes I get caught up in the grind of what needs to get done, when can I get it done and am I doing it well enough. Sometimes I feel like I am missing something. I worry that I am focusing my energy on the wrong things. Zig Ziglar calls it being cooked in a squat.

So on Mother's Day I will try to enjoy the here and now and not focus on anything else but the blossoms right in my own home.

A Day in the Life of a Mompreneur

This is a typical day for me and my family.

I woke up at 5:30 to make arepas (special bread from Colombia) for a presentation at my son's school. Then I went to his school and did a presentation on bread making because they are studying bread. Next it was off to my home office to make phone calls and customer research. After which I headed to a lunch appointment with a friend/business associate to discuss a new product line and catch up on life. Then we headed to her office to see the developments on her new office location. Along the way I picked up David and brought him home for his afternoon nap (while he still takes them) and then I made calls, handled emails and other business. Once David woke up it was off to get Tom. We came home and had a quick snack, got a bath and made dinner so Tom could head off to Karate with his Dad. Then it was David and Mommy time. Last but not least it is bed time for David and I am off to my evening routine of preparing for the next day.

Is anyone tired reading this, I am just writing it. That is a typical day for me. The truth is that I love it! Even though I tend to be exhausted when my head hits the pillow, I know I have had a great, rewarding and full day filled with love, family and work. I realized that I am living what I have always wanted and didn't even know it.

Mompreneurs Rock

According to an article in Business Week Online, America will never be the same.

"Mompreneurs are a huge force in this evolution. With their sheer numbers, they're running businesses on eBay and firing up the economy. Along the way, they're radically changing the way America works."

I am living proof of that and loving every minute of it. This article clearly demonstrates the saying necessity is the mother of invention. Let's face it, mothers are always creating new says to get things done and to create a world that works for them. It means starting businesses or creating a work schedule that is flexible and family friendly. Thank goodness we live in a place where we can be what we need to be and be respected and rewarded for it.

And now for something completely different

Today I had on my business hat and it was awesome. I feel so energized when I can be in my environment, selling and serving my clients. I also got to help a mom out who helps me and watched her kids for an hour. It was overall a great day, and I look forward to another good one tomorrow.

It is nice to be able to switch gears and wear many hats and not feel completely crazy.

She called!!!!

Well at last she called. I wasn't looking for a pound of flesh, just a conversation. I guess for me it was about closure on a potentially unpleasant situation. When it was all said and done, it all worked out. She apologized for the inconvenience and said she did her best to reach me. And when it get's right down to it, it does not matter, it's over and they are closed.

So now what?

Well I have left two messages on two different days and still no call back from the corporate owner of the now defunct Tumble Town. Interesting. Well I am going to wait one more day and then it is on to Plan B. Oh I mean BBB.

In the meantime, I have had a great day with David, planned my week for work and started planning next week. All in all, life is good. The best part of this all is that a parent emailed me to say it was a great party and thanked me for staying so calm under such a stressful situation.

It pays to be streetsmart and have lots of great friends and family.

B – Day – “A Day that will Live in Infamy”

No, I am not talking about World War II, I am talking about David’s Birthday Party. First, let me say that I was thrilled there were going to be 12 kids at the party. It is hard to get everyone’s schedule together when everyone is so busy. That in itself was a feat. Then I reserved our favorite spot, a place in the Mall called Tumble Town with rubber walls and padded floors. What more could 12 3 to 6 year olds want. So imagine my surprise when I show up with cake and decorations in tow and my small entourage to find the party venue closed, permanently. Did I say it was 15 minutes before the party? What is a mother to do? What else, get on the cell phone and do some problem solving. With the support of my family and other resourceful parents, I was able to pull of a terrific party at Chuck E. Cheese. When all was said and done, the party went beautifully, the kids had a great time, all the parents were supportive and helpful to make this a great event and no children were lost in the shuffle. In addition, an added feature was that I ended up saving money on the deal.

So what has the Streetsmart Mom learned? Well, I must admit I am still reeling from this experience, but I believe I have learned a few things.

• I have great friends and family who supported me and helped me stay calm under what could have been an extremely stressful situation.
• People are willing to help when you ask.
• I have the capacity to regroup and problem solve.
• I am already working on the follow-up for the place, which does not exist any more. Why? Because I need to understand how this happened so this will not happen to someone else.

The best part is the kids had a great day and that’s all that matters.

T-1 "The Birthday Party"

Well I am about to sign off for the day, so I thought I would do a quick blog. Tomorrow is David's 3rd Birthday Party. Big time. We are having it at Tumble Town, a place where the kids (10 ranging from 3 to 5) can run, jump and get really loud. The best part is they clean up and we go home. It's worth a few extra bucks and the kids enjoy it so much.

So I am off to spend the day cleaning, and then some more cleaning before all the relatives invade for the party. I love this stuff and I know the boys do too.

When all else fails, Blog

Well I hit the wall today. I am tired. I just realized that this was the first day in about three weeks, may more, that I had no appointments when I was kid free. I dropped the boys off to school and came home expecting to get many things done, after all my To Do List had turned into a To Do Novel. So what do you think happened? Nothing, that's right. I think I just needed to shut down for a moment or so and just be.

I am feeling frustrated, angry and overwhelmed that I cannot get it all done. I am having one of those days. So being the doer that I am, I decided to get at least one thing done, so I am blogging here and I have blogged at my sales site. Then I went to Target (I love that store) and did my essential shopping and next I indulged in some Chinese Food for lunch. What do I call all of this? Extreme Self-Care! I read about it in Life Makeover. Sounds silly but it worked.

I went to get David, who was asleep before we left the school. Brought him home for nap and here I am ready to face my day. Did I mention I stopped at Starbucks for a coffee! Well at least I still have a few more hours to chip away at my To Do List. Bottoms Up!

I'm Unemployable . . . And Now I Know Why

According to Judith Warner author of "Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety" women are forced to make choices that are substandard.

". . . [T]he structures of our society as they currently exist do not allow mothers to make meaningful choices," Warner wrote. "Too many [mothers] are forced to abdicate the dreams of a lifetime because the demands of the workplace are incompatible with family life. Others, in the quest to support their families, must 'choose' to consign their children to seriously substandard care. Others must abdicate their dreams of homemaking because it is simply too costly."

When I had my children I was already a business owner and choose to downsize the business and move it home to enjoy my boys. When I was ready to start gearing up again, I realized very quickly I could not do what I did before because my life had become very unpredictable. In fact, if I had a regular "job" this winter I would have been fired because of all of the illness my family had experienced. I have felt blessed to be an entrepreneur who can make my schedule work within the confines of my life.

It's not easy, but I must say it beats parking the kids at a center and having an hour during the day to learn what my boys are about. I just have to remind myself, all the time, they are only young for a short while and then I can keep my perspective.

The Report Cards Are In and We're Doing Just Fine?

I haven't had time to digest everything in the report, but according to ClubMom the "State of Mom" things are looking good for moms whether they work at home or outside the home. Check it out for yourself.

• Mom's are confident in their childrearing abilities (Go girl)

• They don't feel pressure to live up to society driven versions of a "Perfect Mom" (Amen)

• Would like more help from their spouses (Who wouldn't)

• Husband are good role models for their children (I second that emotion)

There's tons of information in this report and it is certainly worth reading. So go check it out. I find what works for me is having a balance of family, friends and work. Lots of play, lots of work and lots of rest. That doesn't mean it happens, but I know it works.

As Mother's Day approaches, it's a good time to do a personal pulse and see how things are going and if you are ok, great! And if you need a little more, now is the time to start asking.

When I grow up I will . . .

Here I am at 41 and I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up. I want to help people achieve their goals. It suddenly occurred to me that I am living my dream.

I was given a book called the Dreamgiver, which I read in two days. That's fast for me. The main theme of the book is that we are all born with a purpose and that we spend our whole lives trying to find out what the dream is. Most of us don't know that we are seeking this purpose. Once we realize it and we figure out what the purpose is, we spend the rest of our time stretching out of our comfort zone and trying to attain that dream. The only problem is that when we do this, we shake things up with the people we love. So the book clearly, through a parable/story, shares the challenges we face as we change and how it affects the world around us. Powerful!!!!

What is your dream? Are you living your dream? Who are the Giants in your life? Are you in the desert, parched and searching? Are there dream stealers in your life? All questions that are answered in this book. Get the book and live your dream.

An Attitude of Gratitude

I was just talking to fellow mom who had three boys (6, 4 & 1). She asked me if I had any ideas on how to teach an attitude of gratitude to her boys. She had just had a morning of whining and crying over not getting his way. She was beginning to be upset with his lack of appreciation for the things he has and the focus on what he wanted. At the moment I could not think of a thing. I too had experience similar attitudes. Was it just an age thing or were we not raising grateful children? It really made me think.

Then I called her back to check in and to offer the only thought that came to mind. What if you took the boys to a shelter or food bank and show them what it means to be without. We talked about various local possibilities and both felt encouraged. I feel committed to teaching the boys not only how fortunate they are but also how we need to serve others. I hope to make this a learning lesson over the summer.

It is great to be able to share with other moms and gain strength.