T-1 "The Birthday Party"

Well I am about to sign off for the day, so I thought I would do a quick blog. Tomorrow is David's 3rd Birthday Party. Big time. We are having it at Tumble Town, a place where the kids (10 ranging from 3 to 5) can run, jump and get really loud. The best part is they clean up and we go home. It's worth a few extra bucks and the kids enjoy it so much.

So I am off to spend the day cleaning, and then some more cleaning before all the relatives invade for the party. I love this stuff and I know the boys do too.

When all else fails, Blog

Well I hit the wall today. I am tired. I just realized that this was the first day in about three weeks, may more, that I had no appointments when I was kid free. I dropped the boys off to school and came home expecting to get many things done, after all my To Do List had turned into a To Do Novel. So what do you think happened? Nothing, that's right. I think I just needed to shut down for a moment or so and just be.

I am feeling frustrated, angry and overwhelmed that I cannot get it all done. I am having one of those days. So being the doer that I am, I decided to get at least one thing done, so I am blogging here and I have blogged at my sales site. Then I went to Target (I love that store) and did my essential shopping and next I indulged in some Chinese Food for lunch. What do I call all of this? Extreme Self-Care! I read about it in Life Makeover. Sounds silly but it worked.

I went to get David, who was asleep before we left the school. Brought him home for nap and here I am ready to face my day. Did I mention I stopped at Starbucks for a coffee! Well at least I still have a few more hours to chip away at my To Do List. Bottoms Up!

I'm Unemployable . . . And Now I Know Why

According to Judith Warner author of "Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety" women are forced to make choices that are substandard.

". . . [T]he structures of our society as they currently exist do not allow mothers to make meaningful choices," Warner wrote. "Too many [mothers] are forced to abdicate the dreams of a lifetime because the demands of the workplace are incompatible with family life. Others, in the quest to support their families, must 'choose' to consign their children to seriously substandard care. Others must abdicate their dreams of homemaking because it is simply too costly."

When I had my children I was already a business owner and choose to downsize the business and move it home to enjoy my boys. When I was ready to start gearing up again, I realized very quickly I could not do what I did before because my life had become very unpredictable. In fact, if I had a regular "job" this winter I would have been fired because of all of the illness my family had experienced. I have felt blessed to be an entrepreneur who can make my schedule work within the confines of my life.

It's not easy, but I must say it beats parking the kids at a center and having an hour during the day to learn what my boys are about. I just have to remind myself, all the time, they are only young for a short while and then I can keep my perspective.

The Report Cards Are In and We're Doing Just Fine?

I haven't had time to digest everything in the report, but according to ClubMom the "State of Mom" things are looking good for moms whether they work at home or outside the home. Check it out for yourself.

• Mom's are confident in their childrearing abilities (Go girl)

• They don't feel pressure to live up to society driven versions of a "Perfect Mom" (Amen)

• Would like more help from their spouses (Who wouldn't)

• Husband are good role models for their children (I second that emotion)

There's tons of information in this report and it is certainly worth reading. So go check it out. I find what works for me is having a balance of family, friends and work. Lots of play, lots of work and lots of rest. That doesn't mean it happens, but I know it works.

As Mother's Day approaches, it's a good time to do a personal pulse and see how things are going and if you are ok, great! And if you need a little more, now is the time to start asking.

When I grow up I will . . .

Here I am at 41 and I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up. I want to help people achieve their goals. It suddenly occurred to me that I am living my dream.

I was given a book called the Dreamgiver, which I read in two days. That's fast for me. The main theme of the book is that we are all born with a purpose and that we spend our whole lives trying to find out what the dream is. Most of us don't know that we are seeking this purpose. Once we realize it and we figure out what the purpose is, we spend the rest of our time stretching out of our comfort zone and trying to attain that dream. The only problem is that when we do this, we shake things up with the people we love. So the book clearly, through a parable/story, shares the challenges we face as we change and how it affects the world around us. Powerful!!!!

What is your dream? Are you living your dream? Who are the Giants in your life? Are you in the desert, parched and searching? Are there dream stealers in your life? All questions that are answered in this book. Get the book and live your dream.

An Attitude of Gratitude

I was just talking to fellow mom who had three boys (6, 4 & 1). She asked me if I had any ideas on how to teach an attitude of gratitude to her boys. She had just had a morning of whining and crying over not getting his way. She was beginning to be upset with his lack of appreciation for the things he has and the focus on what he wanted. At the moment I could not think of a thing. I too had experience similar attitudes. Was it just an age thing or were we not raising grateful children? It really made me think.

Then I called her back to check in and to offer the only thought that came to mind. What if you took the boys to a shelter or food bank and show them what it means to be without. We talked about various local possibilities and both felt encouraged. I feel committed to teaching the boys not only how fortunate they are but also how we need to serve others. I hope to make this a learning lesson over the summer.

It is great to be able to share with other moms and gain strength.

Market and Share

There was a time I would cringe when someone else would start a business like mine and I'd believe that was it, I am done. Then through time, maturity and some training, I realized that there is enough out there for everyone as long as we behave in our businesses. Once I got that, business became fun. Now I don't worry so much about market share but sharing my marketing and sales knowledge. It' s interesting what happens when you release that tension and you suddenly become open to the possibilities. The flood gates open up and truly everyone is provided for according to their effort.

I love to share and in turn, I have been well taken care of over the years.

If you don't like the picture, Reframe it!!!!

Yesterday I had a plan. It made sense and I had all the details worked out in my mind. Then reality set in. Of course my plan was not what happened. At first I was angry and discouraged. Then within minutes or maybe a few hours, I was able to get some perspective. What did I do to turn what seemed like a hopeless situation into a great thing? I reframed it.

I stepped back, looked at the situation with a new pair of frames on. Then with my new found wisdom I rewrote the plan. Now I am back on track and still on the same path. This worked for several reasons:

• I had a goal that was specific and measurable
• I wrote a plan and worked toward implementation
• Then when things did not go according to plan, I reviewed it and came up with a new strategy
• I kept my focus on the goal, not the plan

I have learned that even in small decisions, if you keep you eye on the goal, it will all come together. You must be open to change, flexible and steadfast.

Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting

What do you do with a boy who is full of life, energy and instinctively turns everything into a weapon? You give them Karate Lessons? Well, our thought is if he's going to be pretending to do karate with his friends, he should be schooled in the real thing. Karate will not just teach him technique but philosophy. And guess what, my son loves it and he's pretty good at it for a 5 year old.

Support is a good thing!!!

Today was a rough day. My heart was sad and I had that feeling like I wanted to get out of my skin. So what did I do? What any red blooded women would do, called a friend. I asked her if I could come over and just be with her. She was great!!! I was able to just be, I was fed and my son David took a nap. It turned my day around.

What started as a dramatic day and could have digressed into a pity party became a victory for me. What am I celebrating? I know how to take care of myself, how to ask for help and when to sit in my stuff. The good news is that I don't have to sit in it as long as I used to and I know when to reach out.

I guess that is another trait of a Streetsmart Mom.

Monday morning blues

It's Monday and David has the infamous stomach virus. It is so disheartening when the boys are sick. And, I must say this kind of sickness I can do without.

On top of that, I experienced poor customer service at our local computer store. After they told us we could return an item if it didn't work, I tried. Guess what, they did not have the cash. I dragged my poor sick son out to get this handled quickly so there would be no questions, and they tell me to come back this evening, or they could mail me a check from corporate. What's up with that???? We paid cash and of course we want cash back. Let's just say I am not happy. It's time to send in the big guns.

Well, we are home and resting, and I've cleaned David up again. So I guess we will just move on.

Something has to give . . . I guess it was my blog

It has been a week since I have blogged. I have tried to do this for days, quite frankly I have been so busy or so tired I just could not do it. So today, I am making time to catch up. What have I been up to?

• Closed two sales in my business;
• Planned and implemented a luncheon event for my children's school and helped out with book fair;
• Worked at church nursery, twice;
• Went to meetings/trainings;
• Participated on another event planning committee;
• Helped my sister with a major personal event;
  
• Met with my mastermind group; and
  
• General family activities and home activities.

So you can see it has been a busy week. I did fit some sleep in there. Oh yeah, we turned the clocks back and we are all off schedule. I am enjoying the added sunshine.