Hold on to the Dream

I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, and I must admit sad. It has been a difficult month, and I am having a hard time getting out of my funk. As is my usual custom, I have been trying to figure out why this is happening. After some thought I think I have some answers. I have been busy doing and have taken my eyes off the goal. I got so caught up in fulfilling all my roles, I lost sight of my goals. If that wasn't bad enough, I suddenly realized that my dreams (goals) are not the same as those around me. I think that was the hardest revelation. So I am experiencing some grief. I need to re-think my plan and look at my goals. And then I need to take hold of my dreams and move toward them.

Well it is not going to be easy, but I will persevere. I honestly don't know how, I am feeling a bit lonely, but I will pray and ask for wisdom, guidance and discernment. I know it is not my plans that I am working but His.

When all else fails, do something!

As I get back on my feet, I am slowly making progress again. What I am finding out is that I am getting back to basics. I know what works and what doesn't. So for now I am working what works and will work on developing what doesn't. That is if it makes sense to work on it.

The one thing that I am finding that I resist the most is a system. Being confined to a box. Rules, structure and guidelines. Hmmm. What my kids need most are structure, set and defined boundaries and rules. Hmmm. This is quite a dilemma and explains why I feel like a fish out of water most of the time. Help, I can't breathe.

Okay, it's not that bad, but sometimes it feels that way. So I will muddle through and figure it out. But the truth is that I have determined I cannot do it myself, alone. I am reaching out big time. I am calling in all my buddies and saying I am lost and need help. That is hard for me. I have been raised to be self-sufficient. "Get over it, other people have it worse than you. Just pick yourself up and do it."

Well I am, just my way. In the meantime, I bought myself an old fashioned planner and I am getting busy developing a plan. Wish me luck and say a prayer.

Happy Father's Day

Isn't it great there is a day to celebrate all the Father's of the world. I know my husband, the father of my two boys certainly deserves celebration. I am letting him sleep in late today and will make him a yummy breakfast and then I have a surprise for him for the afternoon. But why do we celebrate fathers?

I celebrate fathers because without them I would be insane. Jim gives the boys structure and leadership. He is tender and firm with them. He shares the burden of raising my two boys, and at times, takes on more than his share, depending on where I am in my life. We are a team. Without him I would be useless as a mom. I would have to look elsewhere for help and he is the perfect helpmate.

James Dobson in his books on parenting comments on how critical a father's role is in a child's life. The fact that so many families are being raised without fathers is going to play a pivotal role in the families that are faced with that situation. He commented on the numerous studies of men in prison who are lifetime criminals and the fact that most of them were raised in a single parent home, without a dad. Obviously, this cannot be avoided sometimes. And sometimes it is better to be a single parent than have both in the home depending on the relationship and the parents. But all things being equal, children need two loving parents to make them well rounded and loving individuals when they grow up.

So for all the father's out there, especially my husband, Happy Father's Day. We could not do it without you.

Here comes the Sun . . .

I woke up this morning to a 3 year old climbing in bed with me because he wanted to snuggle, the birds chirping and the sun shining. It was pretty awesome. Okay, it was only 6:30 in the morning, but it was a beautiful 6:30 in the morning. It has been great taking this time for myself to regenerate my batteries. As I sit here in the morning listening to my boys play and enjoy the crisp air, I feel grateful for even the stress and anxiety I feel. For at least I feel something.

Tomorrow who knows what life will bring so I try to live in the moment, even when it isn't comfortable. I learn to stretch my comfort zone and grow as a person. It's like being in life's gym. There are some days you just need a shower after a long work out and others where you need to just sleep from the exhaustion. But usually you want to enjoy the workout. Life is great. Thanks.

Where in the world is this Streetsmartmom?

You probably have noticed a lack of information on this blog. I try not to miss a week of blogging. However, recently I felt the need to retreat into myself to re-group and re-think my world. I recently was given some feedback from someone who is important to me that was not what I expecting to hear. My world became a little shaky. So I have taken a break to think, and try to understand the source of the feedback and the nature of the feedback.

After taking my own advice and getting some extreme self-care, I have come to the conclusion that I am ok. I just need to re-group. My (I) or Idenity was shaken because I was told my (R) how I was performing in a particular Role was not meeting someone's expectations. Wow, for a mom and a women, that was a blow. But then I put it in perspective and came away with my usual life lessons.

I am still ok. I am an I-10 (I am a good and whole person, the way God created me) even though my R is a 3 at times. So I am going to change what I can. I am going to work on the R - improve my role by developing a plan of action and working the plan. That should improve my performance. The best part is that I realize that I am always ok no matter whether I am good at something or not. It takes practice to be good at something, but not practice to be me. I am me. So I am off to work on the Role. I will keep you posted on how I do.

Take Care of Mom!!!! 

When Mom's not Happy

Maybe the moon is full or there is a convergence of PMS, but I have spoken to several moms who are in desperate need of a vacation. Not a vacation, like Disney World, but a vacation from their families. Yes, we love our families. Yet, from what I am hearing, it has become apparent to me that in the midst of taking care of the world, we have forgotten to take care of our selves.

I believe this is more common than not. I have yet to figure out how to create a schedule that has "mommy preservation" time built in. For me what happens is that one day I wake up and find that I am feeling crazy. Then my husband or someone will pitch in so I can take a break. Why don't I make that part of my regular plan instead of an emergency option? Good question. I don't know but I will work on that.

For now I am focused on a warm and memorable summer. How do I do that? How do I not allow the world to take me over? How do I maintain some sanity? I am joining a pool/health club. Yes, we will lounge and play and I will work out. I cannot wait. I forget how much I need it. My husband will get what he needs also, a wife who is happy and hopefully more toned. The kids will get a happy mommy that is not so grumpy. All in all it sounds like a great plan. I will keep you posted.

In the meantime, keep the air mask scenario in mind. If you don't take care of yourself, how can you take care of anyone else.