Tuesday, May 31, 2005

When you think you are at the brim, read on

Here is a story I received from a Street Smart Mom. I don't know the origin and it's a little long, but worth the read. I hope it is an encouragement to you or someone you know.

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

<>One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Thank You Woman's Day

Honestly, I have been having a very difficult week. Besides the "things" that are happening, my hormones are completely out of control. So, you can imagine life with Lia is no bowl of cherries. My husband is really trying to help and be sensitive. The kids are great. What's a girl to do? I cannot cry all day and sleep is just not on the schedule.

To help ease the tension I gave myself a little slack today and enjoyed a good read. I love to read. I opened up my new copy of Woman's Day. I find magazines to be a great escape, they are easy to read with short articles that are to the point and informative. They are nice to look at, and I usually learn something. Today was no exception. Just when I needed it most (Thank you God) I came across an article on guilt called: Ditch the Guilt. It was a good article and it had a little box called: Try This Reality Check. It asks two questions:

  1. Does my guilt about a specific situation help me accomplish anything?
  2. Can my guilt change the way I will handle a situation in the future?

If you answered "no" to either question, ditch the guilt. If "yes," use your guilt as a springboard for positive change.

That really resonated with me today. I don't know if it was my up bringing or just a mom gene, but guilt is something I do well. But now I have something to use as a barometer to see if this is a feeling that will help. If it doesn't, move on. Today I will chose to own it and use it to learn, grow and conquer something that is holding me back.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

It's Starting To Get Exciting

Although I have anxiety over the summer, I am excited. Yesterday, Tom's backpack was filled with class projects that he gets to keep. It is clear the teacher is transitioning the children for the end of a great year. As we plan for the summer, she needs to start letting go.

As I think about it, I realize that she has grown to love our little ones and will miss them, warts and all. For her she must feel a great sense of accomplishment as she has seen my little guy go from a boy who seemed somewhat tentative and insecure to a boy who is clearly coming into his own. He is much more confident and willing to try new things, feels like he is in a place where it is safe to make mistakes and a place where he can be himself. And that is just my little fella, imagine that times 9. What a great sense of pride she must have.

His teacher also knows that she will see some of these kids in the hall next year, as some have decided to stay with the school. She knows no matter where she is in the school, when one of her little protege's sees her they will come running to give her a hug and tell her all about their day. His teacher also knows that next year is a new year with a new batch of little ones that she will touch and help mold into clear thinkers, problem solvers and loving children.

We have been blessed with Mrs. Rambeau this year, and I know my kids have been placed where they were supposed to be. Next it's number two, David. He will get his chance in two years. I cannot wait for another year with Mrs. Rambeau.

Friday, May 20, 2005

It's a New Day Today

Today was much better than yesterday. My babysitter came through today. I had two great meetings and got to spend some quality time with my family. All in all a good day.

So what have I learned this week. You know I need to gain my lessons, if I am going to suffer growing pains.

  • Have a Plan B before I need it. In fact today I was prepared to implement Plan B and was pleased to see that was not necessary.
  • Realize that I am a Mom with a Business not a Business Owner with children. Big difference.
  • I need to set realistic expectations of myself and then communicate those to the people that need to know.
  • That it is okay to share how you feel about something and then release it's energy. I was able to send a email to my sitter about the situation and we were able to work things out. Both of us, I believe, got our needs met and maintained a crucial relationship.
It's hard sometimes being a Streetsmart Mom, but it's worth it.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Even a Street Smart Mom Can Have a Off Day

It started like any other day until I found a message on my cell phone at 7:52am (never good news that early in the morning) that my baby sitter could not make it because she had things to do. As I stressed about what to do, I had to get the boys to school and get to my 9:15 meeting. The good news is I was able to separate that event and have a great meeting. I got some good feedback and the rest of my group did as well.

The bad news is that even with lots of calls and prayers, I was not able to solve my babysitting crisis. So I did the next best thing, I put David down for a nap and turned it into a phone meeting. The person I was meeting with did not appreciate the change and was polite at the meeting, but it was clear that this was not a good thing.

The truth is this is what I face on a regular basis. What do I do? I don't have answers, just more questions. For now I am trying to maintain my focus and remember that my son is safe upstairs sleeping and I had the meeting, albeit not under the best of circumstances. So tomorrow is another day. I hope tomorrow goes better.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Meet An Every Day Hero - A Streetsmart Mom

If you could find the term Streetsmart Mom in the dictionary, you would find a picture of my friend Becca there. We have become friendly over the last year as our sons are in Kindergarten together. The boys just love each other and play together beautifully. I had the opportunity to hear a little bit about Becca and her “story” and was amazed at her strength, courage, grace and sense of humor.

While our boys had a play date, we actually had a great conversation. They played so well together, we were able to finish many sentences. Becca has three boys; they are five, four and one. The 5-year old has Epilepsy with some complications. He is the sweetest boy. Due to the complications, he struggles in school. Her 4-year old was just diagnosed with Asper Autism. She believed something happened at birth, which caused some developmental delays, and then it became apparent to her that it was more serious than that. The youngest is doing great.

What makes Becca so special, if dealing with the above was not enough, is that she has been an advocate and the force behind having her boys taken care of. She spends countless hours reading and researching all the possibilities, the treatment options and what opportunities she has to help her boys have a successful life. She was the one who insisted that her son be tested for Autism. She recently quit the job she loved to be available for the boys. Their education will be a full time job and this is clearly the most important thing to Becca. She spends her days taking her boys to doctors and various therapies to help them adjust. Moreover, as they continue in school, she will be with them the whole way making sure they get whatever they need.

On days I feel down and wonder how can I go on, I think of Becca and know I can. She does everyday, under much greater pressure. Her gift to the world is unconditional love and a capacity to give like I have never seen.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

When is the last day of School???

As the school year comes to a close I take time to pause. Then panic sets in. What are we going to do with the summer? As my mind races with options and I try to problem solve, I realize that the summer is going to come and go very fast. And when it is done, Thomas will be in First Grade. Wow, when did that happen?

I am not in a rush to get through summer. I want to savor it. I want to enjoy these precious moments. Yes, it means slowing down a little, and being creative with my work schedule, but in then end it will all work out.

My memories of summer include trips with my family to cool places, usually historic in nature where we learned things. My dad was a college professor so we were always in a learning mode. But mostly I remember it was not a rushed time. We played, we rested and we spent time with our family.

I hope to give my kids great memories for this summer and the summers to come.

Friday, May 13, 2005

If I had to do it over again . . .

I would do exactly the same thing. Well, maybe not exactly, but I cannot imagine not being where I am right now. I believe that today is a product of all of my yesterdays. Without the yesterdays, today would not have been, and I love today! Should I say, who is on first at this point.


What I can do is try not to repeat the mistakes of yesterday. I do have regrets, and I know I am not the same person I was, so I will not regret the same things. Now I look for wisdom to assure the minimum of regrets in the future.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Is it morning already?

I guess you can tell I am tired. I had a busy day yesterday. I had my usually sales training, then I made some sales calls. I picked up David and brought him home for his well needed nap. After getting my son down for a nap, I left him in the capable hands of my sister-in-law and headed off to two more meetings. Then it was time for picking up number two and home to make dinner. I was running a little late so I didn't have time to eat because I head to my Toastmaster's meeting. It was a great meeting. I won two ribbons (best Table Topics and best Evaluator) and I was elected President of the club.

The part that was exhausting wasn't all of that, I was actually energized by that. What exhausted me was the fact that my husband did not come home till 2:30 in the morning from a meeting. I am normally not a worrier, but last night as the clock ticked away and I still did not hear him come in, I found myself concerned. I felt relief when he walked in the door (I heard his car before he walked in). He was really excited about his meeting so I did not have the heart to be angry with him. But this morning I am feeling a little miffed. I know he's tired and driving and I know I am exhausted.

So what's the point of all of this, really none. But I will work on not worrying so much and maybe come up with a plan in the future that Jim will leave his cell phone on when he is going to be out late so I can reach him. For me the lesson learned is that a little planning and communication in advance will go a long way to a good nights sleep.

Monday, May 09, 2005


Here's Tammy! She even looks calming. I am grateful to her for her patience as I am a slow learner and need time to work through all this stuff. Posted by Hello

De-Clutter Your Outside and Free-up Your Inside

I know this is probably contrary to what people say, but I find it works for me. I realize the clutter is a sign of the clutter in yourself. But sometimes you have to start on the outside to be able to face the inside. So my mission has been to de-clutter and purge so that I can free up some space to work and transform my personal space into a place where I can be creative. So far I have 7 bags (big bags) of stuff and lots of other stuff (mostly baby things). Yes my boys are not longer babies so it is time to let go. I am not having more and those things are not my boys they are things. I have pictures for the memories. (I am talking to myself.)

In order to facilitate a smooth transition in this endeavor I have enlisted the help of a trusted advisor, my professional organizer. Tammy Burke with Organize It All has been instrumental in helping me break down these overwhelming tasks into small tasks that are manageable. I will be meeting her next week and I will have a van full of stuff that she will itemize. She will give the items back to me to give to the organization of my choice and also provide me with a spread sheet that I can utilize with my taxes. Yippee, I will have a well needed tax write off and it will save the time of haggling at a yard sale of the precious things my boys owned. I will also have the pleasure of knowing someone who needs these things will get them. It is win-win-win.

That is Streetsmart at its best.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Stop and Smell the Flowers

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon – instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.” Dale Carnegie


It is so true. As Mother's Day approaches tomorrow, I am reminded of my little roses, Thomas and David and my big rose Jim. Sometimes I get caught up in the grind of what needs to get done, when can I get it done and am I doing it well enough. Sometimes I feel like I am missing something. I worry that I am focusing my energy on the wrong things. Zig Ziglar calls it being cooked in a squat.

So on Mother's Day I will try to enjoy the here and now and not focus on anything else but the blossoms right in my own home.

Friday, May 06, 2005

A Day in the Life of a Mompreneur

This is a typical day for me and my family.

I woke up at 5:30 to make arepas (special bread from Colombia) for a presentation at my son's school. Then I went to his school and did a presentation on bread making because they are studying bread. Next it was off to my home office to make phone calls and customer research. After which I headed to a lunch appointment with a friend/business associate to discuss a new product line and catch up on life. Then we headed to her office to see the developments on her new office location. Along the way I picked up David and brought him home for his afternoon nap (while he still takes them) and then I made calls, handled emails and other business. Once David woke up it was off to get Tom. We came home and had a quick snack, got a bath and made dinner so Tom could head off to Karate with his Dad. Then it was David and Mommy time. Last but not least it is bed time for David and I am off to my evening routine of preparing for the next day.

Is anyone tired reading this, I am just writing it. That is a typical day for me. The truth is that I love it! Even though I tend to be exhausted when my head hits the pillow, I know I have had a great, rewarding and full day filled with love, family and work. I realized that I am living what I have always wanted and didn't even know it.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Mompreneurs Rock

According to an article in Business Week Online, America will never be the same.

"Mompreneurs are a huge force in this evolution. With their sheer numbers, they're running businesses on eBay and firing up the economy. Along the way, they're radically changing the way America works."

I am living proof of that and loving every minute of it. This article clearly demonstrates the saying necessity is the mother of invention. Let's face it, mothers are always creating new says to get things done and to create a world that works for them. It means starting businesses or creating a work schedule that is flexible and family friendly. Thank goodness we live in a place where we can be what we need to be and be respected and rewarded for it.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

And now for something completely different

Today I had on my business hat and it was awesome. I feel so energized when I can be in my environment, selling and serving my clients. I also got to help a mom out who helps me and watched her kids for an hour. It was overall a great day, and I look forward to another good one tomorrow.

It is nice to be able to switch gears and wear many hats and not feel completely crazy.

She called!!!!

Well at last she called. I wasn't looking for a pound of flesh, just a conversation. I guess for me it was about closure on a potentially unpleasant situation. When it was all said and done, it all worked out. She apologized for the inconvenience and said she did her best to reach me. And when it get's right down to it, it does not matter, it's over and they are closed.

Monday, May 02, 2005

So now what?

Well I have left two messages on two different days and still no call back from the corporate owner of the now defunct Tumble Town. Interesting. Well I am going to wait one more day and then it is on to Plan B. Oh I mean BBB.

In the meantime, I have had a great day with David, planned my week for work and started planning next week. All in all, life is good. The best part of this all is that a parent emailed me to say it was a great party and thanked me for staying so calm under such a stressful situation.

It pays to be streetsmart and have lots of great friends and family.

Sunday, May 01, 2005

B – Day – “A Day that will Live in Infamy”

No, I am not talking about World War II, I am talking about David’s Birthday Party. First, let me say that I was thrilled there were going to be 12 kids at the party. It is hard to get everyone’s schedule together when everyone is so busy. That in itself was a feat. Then I reserved our favorite spot, a place in the Mall called Tumble Town with rubber walls and padded floors. What more could 12 3 to 6 year olds want. So imagine my surprise when I show up with cake and decorations in tow and my small entourage to find the party venue closed, permanently. Did I say it was 15 minutes before the party? What is a mother to do? What else, get on the cell phone and do some problem solving. With the support of my family and other resourceful parents, I was able to pull of a terrific party at Chuck E. Cheese. When all was said and done, the party went beautifully, the kids had a great time, all the parents were supportive and helpful to make this a great event and no children were lost in the shuffle. In addition, an added feature was that I ended up saving money on the deal.

So what has the Streetsmart Mom learned? Well, I must admit I am still reeling from this experience, but I believe I have learned a few things.

  • I have great friends and family who supported me and helped me stay calm under what could have been an extremely stressful situation.
  • People are willing to help when you ask.
  • I have the capacity to regroup and problem solve.
  • I am already working on the follow-up for the place, which does not exist any more. Why? Because I need to understand how this happened so this will not happen to someone else.

The best part is the kids had a great day and that’s all that matters.