Valentines with Kids

I happen to be one of the lucky ones, I have a romantic husband. In fact, he is way more romantic than me. I used to be, but something happened, could it be the kids or life. Jim and I have been together 27 years and married 22. Yes, we are goofy, we got married on Valentine's Day so it was also our Anniversary as well. Of course, since we waited to have children and they are still young, we no longer do the nights out on the town. However, that does not mean we don't thoroughly enjoy this auspicious day. We like it be a family event.

Because Valentines fell on a Saturday, a very busy day in our house, we started celebrating on Friday. I awoke to roses placed in strategic places throughout the house. Each rose had a card with a sentiment of love written on it in various languages. It was capped off with a card that held tickets for the family to see Stars on Ice. I have wanted to see that live since I was a kid (don't ask how long ago that was). When I was a kid they called it Ice Capades. That evening we took the boys out to dinner at one of our favorite family friendly restaurants. It was awesome

For Jim my demonstration of romance was not nearly as elaborate. When he came home early Saturday morning from the car shop he was greeted by a series of cards from all of us and a book by one of his favorite authors, Donald E. Westlake. Mr. Westlake had just recently passed and Jim has been trying to get more of his books for his collection. In the book was a book mark with a list of all the other Westlake books I ordered that were being shipped. He was thrilled because they are hard to find and he's been trying to find them for years.

Why am I telling you our silly, probably boring Valentine's story? Because to me it is amazing that after 22 years we can find ways to surprise and delight each other even in our busy world with busy kids. I hope this will give you hope encouragement in your world today.

Perspective - Sometimes It's Good To Keep It

I had a really bad day this week. I have to admit there were moments when I could have walked out of my home, gotten in my car and driven until I ran out of gas and started a new life there. I remember crying that night and praying for God's Grace. It was a day I just wished had never happened or I could do over. Then I went to sleep. I woke up the next day and I felt like a different person. My kids acted like different kids. I am not sure what happened.

Then I realized that kids are kids, they have good days and some not so good days. After all they stayed up for the Super Bowl for the first time in their life and had to get up early for school the next day. It has taken them a week to recover from that. As for me, well I am a living, breathing, walking hormone. It's nice to be able to have this perspective today.

I guess my point is that no matter how bad the day is going, it will get better. Life is a series of ups and downs. The key is to learn to ride the waves, gracefully if you can.

Did I fall off the planet???

As you can see it's been a long time since I posted. I have to admit, I had a dry spell. I make no excuses, I was just plain old overwhelmed by life and let it get me down. In that state my creativity was non-existent. My whole house was sick for two months. Then there were the holidays and I was still trying to keep the business running while the kids were on their extended break from school. Then school re-started but the sickness did not leave. We have had this flu, ear infection, upper respiratory infection and many other renditions of it for two months. My husband is still recovering from pneumonia. What's my point? Well, life happens.

This week I feel like I woke up and realized I have been letting outside circumstances dictate my future. No more! Today I commit to staying focused. I commit to creating an editorial schedule so I can blog on a weekly basis. I commit to living each day with the purpose of helping fulfill my dreams and purpose in life. Thank you for the reminder God. I will be true to you and I will be true to me.

Grandparents Rock

Today was grandparents day at my boys' school. This is an event that generates a great deal of excitement. In fact, the air was absolutely palpable. You could almost feel electricity. As I walked the halls and waited for my crew to do their rounds, I was able to hear all the exclamations of how wonderful the school is and how great the kids are doing. I found myself filled with pride. To be honest, I am not sure why. After all I am just a parent. I don't work there. And yet I felt a sense of ownership of this pride. And then it hit me, I felt a sense of community, a sense of belonging. For me the warmth of the school, the community is what I as a parent enjoy so much. Yes, my boys being safe and having a great education is critical. That being said, knowing that I am part of something bigger than myself, something that will help to shape our children's lives for generations to come, although on a small level, is pretty awesome. I am glad that I can participate even in small ways at the school.

So my lesson for today, even if its just a few moments, participate. My boys smiles knowing I was there helping serve food to grandparents and taking pictures to capture those moments was something I will cherish for a long time. It was a small sacrifice of a few hours for a lifetime of memories. When my boys are older and have children of their own, I hope it is those moments that will stand out.

Impulse Control, hmmm

Is that anything like Jumbo Shrimp? What exactly is it that causes a boy to suddenly walk up to another and slap a hat off their head? Can I vent?????

I spent part of my evening at baseball practice with other moms as we watched our 7 to 9 year old boys practice baseball. In between making awesome plays and seeing who can get the dirtiest by sliding I watched boys do the silliest things. I actually found it somewhat comforting when I realized my boy was not the only one afflicted with this "impulse control" issue. James Dobson refers to a distinct difference in the boys brain which happens in the womb. This difference apparently disconnect all logic and thought process from action (Lia's words).

Today I sit hear and thank God for little boys and also for helmets.

Think, think, think . . .

As I sit here at 10:41 pm and ponder on the day, I am struck by a melancholy feeling. I am unsettled, confused and yearning to figure it all out. The problem is I do not know what questions to ask. I don't know how to fix this. I don't even know what this is. I must admit, I do not do this gracefully. I am usually the one people come to for answers. I am the "fixer" of the group. So how do I fix this? Good question. I think for right now, I need to sit in it a while and see if I can figure it out. I don't do that well either. So wish me luck.

Growing Up is Hard to Do

It's been an interesting summer to say the least. Now we are heading into fall. The evenings are getting cool and the kids are back in school. It is amazing what a difference a season can make. As I reflect back on this past summer, I am struck by some very distinct memories.

• Waking up without an alarm clock, who needs one, I have two boys wake me up.
• Working in spurts, in between camps and errands.
• The Olympics - Wow! My boys are hooked. My oldest son says he's mini-Michael Phelps.
• Camping with friends, the best.

As I reflect back and try to focus on the joys, I realize that seasons are only for a short time. In no time it will be winter again, with snow and ice & skiing and hockey. What's my point?

I also had some emotional struggles with the summer. What I was not getting done because I could not work as much? Now that the boys are back in school, and I am back to business I realize it was only 10 weeks. I will always have time to work, but my boys will only be this age right now.

Enjoy your seasons.

Extreme Self Care

Today I had to do what I call Extreme Self Care. I was feeling overwhelmed and a bit under the weather. At first I started to get anxious and angry. Then I took a step back and decided to reframe my day. By the end of the day I felt like a victor instead of a victim.

First I called a meeting of my MasterMind buddies, two fellow mom business owners who understand what I am going through. Then I got busy writing a plan including a to do list. It was very empowering. Finally, I made a decision to dedicate this year to developing a spirit of discipline. I am very excited about the growth I will experience this year.

When the day is getting tough, the tough call their girl friends.

Chinese Food Cures All

I have to admit I have been quite stressed lately. In fact, I have been feeling like I am living on the edge of a cliff and not sure how to stay safe. The good news is that I am starting to feel safe again. I am seeing clarity and gaining some perspective.

One thing I noticed about myself during this time is that when I feel like this, I long for and crave good Chinese food. For me the smells, flavors and texture is the ultimate in comfort food. It also tends to be less fattening than other foods which is important to me.

So I say, when the going gets tough, get some Chinese food.

Rainy days and Mondays . . .

Have you ever had one of those days. Well today it feels like my life. I am so tired of fighting. I fight with myself and there are days when I fight with the world. I am not sure what else to do, but I am almost done. The pain is too much and it does not seem to end. The worst part is most of it is my fault, and I can't seem to stop it. Don't get me wrong, I am not a victim. Yet, I find myself doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Yes, that is the definition of insanity. Look it up in the dictionary and you will see me.

Please keep me in your prayers if you are the praying sort. I feel so tired. Today, it is just too hard. I hope I feel better tomorrow.

Was it only one week?

Last week felt like a lifetime. I know it was me, and I accept that as my truth. My boys started camp today. It is interesting what a difference a week can make. I was very busy today, with lots of appointments, I drove quite a distance between appointments, dropped and picked up boys and equipment, just to name a few of my many tasks for the day. And yet today, I felt calm, cool and collected. I don't believe I raised my voice much today. Even with my youngest melting down as I dropped him off to a new camp with unfamiliar settings. It was great.

What have I learned about myself? I always ask myself, "self, what have I learned about me?" Today I learned that I have to accept who I am. I am a mom of two exuberant boys. I am a business owner. I love being a mom who loves being a business owner. I feel most complete when I get to exercise all of me. The mom muscles as well as the business muscles. When I don't get to do both, I am not as happy.

I also learned that I have another side of me I need to nurture. It is the "me" part of me. I have found that I don't take time to take care of me. I know when that happens because I find myself saying things like "When is someone going to take care of me?" So I am on a path to find a way to take care of me on a more regular basis.

Lastly, I learned that I have a wife muscle that I had put on the back burner. This weekend I had time to spend quality time with my husband. I realized that is very important. So in my exercise program, I need to add that to my list.

Hm, this seems like a lot. I have faith because I have a strong spiritual muscle. So I will pray and seek guidance on how to create a plan that takes all of my muscles into account.

Wish me luck -- this is cool.

Summer Time & The Living is Easy

Who ever wrote that song was not a mom. Argh!! I love the song, but it's not been my experience. Being a mom and business owner brings on different challenges. I find it hard to think with out the space I am used to during the school year. I guess I feel sad that it is not enough for me to be a mom without the business. I love my boys, but the truth is, I am a more complete person when I have space to breath, be more than mom and flex some other muscles.

Today my friend prayed with me over the phone. I was feeling particularly overwhelmed by some challenges. It was so great to be able to share with her in the moment where I was. She is a fellow business owner, Christian and mom. She's walked in my shoes. For a moment I was very honest and open, and she took that and ran with it. I asked her to pray for me as I try to get through my feelings and she stopped everything she was doing to pray with me right then and there. Now I have to be honest, I don't want to sound like a whiner. I know life could be worse. Yet, in the moment, I knew I needed to be honest and ask for help. That was hard for me to do. I have been taught to buck up and deal with it. I am, but I still have strong feelings about what bucking up and and dealing with it feels like.

When life comes at you fast, take a moment and share how you are feeling. Ask for help if you need it. I can tell you from personal experience, it feels good to share your burdens.

Just What I Needed To Hear Today

Conquering any difficulty always gives one a secret joy, for it means pushing back a boundary-line and adding to one's liberty.
-- Henri Frederic Amiel

Can you smell the air?

Oh, I am really enjoying this time of year. We are experiencing a real Spring. The air is fragrant and not too hot. The evenings are still cool. There was just a evening shower, and I can smell the moist earth. I never noticed this stuff before. I love that I have learned to take time, even with all the stresses out there, to smell the air.

I sat at the ball field and watched my oldest son play baseball. It was great. Tom was on his game. I not only was able to take in the game, but think about a new product/offering I am putting together for my business. I put it out to the universe; what I wanted to accomplish and sat there with a pad, and waited for Divine inspiration. Every time an idea came, I jotted it down. I know in no time I will have my ideas all put together so I can create something awesome. And still I had time to watch Tom hit a double, tag someone out at third and come home on an RBI. How cool is that?

Make Time for Dinner with Kids

I just read an article that confirmed what I already knew. Taking time to eat dinner with your kids in important. In fact, it may be one of the main factors in preventing addictive behavior. The information is so important I am including it in it's entirety here. So take time and dine.

Study Shows Dining With Family Reduces Teens' Risk of Addictions Back By Ed Thomas June 16, 2006 (AgapePress) - According to one national organization's research, eating dinner together as a family is not only good for bonding between family members but also cuts down on teens' risks of alcohol and drug addiction. The Columbia University-based National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse has made the link between eating dinner as a family and teens' alcohol and drug addiction risk through analysis of eight years of results from an annual survey of teens. Center president Joseph Califano says the questions on the yearly survey of 12- to 17-year-olds have pointed to a clear pattern since the initial year of the study. "One of the things we've noticed in our surveys, beginning in 1996, was that the more often kids have dinner with their parents, the less likely those kids are to smoke, drink, or use drugs," Califano explains. Meanwhile, he notes, the survey has shown that "kids who have dinner with their parents less than three times a week are much likelier to smoke, to drink, or to use drugs than kids who have dinner with their parents five to seven times a week." Those teens who ate with their families five to seven times a week received the maximum benefit, the Center spokesman points out. He says this group enjoyed relief from the primary risk factors of stress, boredom, and pressure from academic demands in school. "And we find that the family dinner is on the wholesome side of every one of those pressures," Califano emphasizes. Eating together as a family, he asserts, "helps to reduce stress, it helps reduce boredom, and it certainly relates to a kid's academic performance." Because of the these findings, members of a supermarket industry group called the Food Marketing Institute are helping to promote the Center's "Family Day" on September 25. This initiative will encourage parents across the nation to eat dinner with their children on that date and to be aware of the benefits of dining as a family on a regular basis. © 2006 AgapePress all rights reserved.

Spring has Sprung

I am sitting at my computer next to the window which is open. I can feel a gentle breeze and smell the freshness of the cool evening. We just came home from a great baseball game. My boys love baseball, which is great because so do I. I find myself content in this place. Yes, there are challenges; and yet, in the quietness of this moment, they are but a grain of sand on the beach. For I am blessed with opportunities and abundance. As I breathe deeply, I meditate on my blessings.

From the mouths of boys

I have to share these awesome and funny moments with my boys.

First, Thomas is reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid. It's all the rage at school. He tells me this joke from the book that just tickled his fancy. You know it has to do with funny noises or body parts. In the book a boy says to his doctor (by way of a comic that is drawn in the book) "Doctor I need a new butt." The doctor says "Why?" The boys say, "Mine has a crack in it." Ba rump bum.

Well you can imagine the chuckles that brought our household including my 5-year old, David. Of course we coached him on not sharing this joke with his classmates in school who are not ready for such grown up humor. Speaking of David, he decided to become a vegetarian this weekend. I informed him that would be fine, but he would have to eat enough vegetables and protein so he would have a good diet. He was ok with that. Then I made ham steak last night, his favorite. He said "Mom, why did you have to make my favorite meat when I decided to become a vegetarian?" Well it was just too cute. We of course worked through that event.

My last story for this post is about a joyous moment at Dairy Queen. Tom had a cool night with a church group of older kids. David was feeling a bit deflated because he could not go. So I offered to have a special treat of Dairy Queen. He ordered a special waffle cup filled with his favorite, chocolate/vanilla swirl and multi-colored sprinkles. He ate the ice cream in no time flat. I suggested he eat the waffle cup on the way home. As I strapped him into the car for our ride home, he had the most joyous, innocent look in his face. He said to me, "Oh the sweet life."

Now you understand why my life, though filled with challenges, is focused on joy.

Is It Me . . .

or is the world just getting a little crazy! Imagine taking your preschooler to get their hair cut. After some research in the cool magazines in the shop your son says "Mom, this is really cool, can I get this cut?" Keep in mind he's in preschool, not looking for a job. You say, "Sure, why not." After all it will grow back, right? Now picture your son feeling pretty cool about his new look. He's styling! He cannot wait to go to school and show all his buds. "You're the best mom!" is what you hear as you drop your child off at school. You would think the school would see the joy and the exuberance in his face and greet your son with the respect and jubilation due a preschooler. That was not the case for one young man. I am sharing a link to this story because there are times when you just have to wonder, have we gone too far. This boys was crushed by the response. Now his mom is left to pick up the pieces of a little boys moment of glory.

Read for yourself: Preschooler banned for trendy haircut

Sister, I'm There

Have you seen the commercials where the actors say "I'm There." The one scene that caught my attention was the father standing their while his teenage daughter was practicing driving with a diving instructor. While she was knocking down cones he was thinking how did she go from my little girl to an almost driver. I have those moments every day. My boys are growing up so fast, maturing and already I am seeing the signs of moving toward peers and away from mom. I am trying to stay in the moment and enjoy the time we have now. Enjoy the hugs when they come. Enjoy the silly sounds followed by the giggles. Enjoy the hugging that turns into wrestling. Why, because one day I will wonder where the time went and when will they slow down long enough for a hug.

That's What I'm Talking About

Okay pinch me, can this be real. I had the best day today. What was so special? Well I realized again, but at a much deeper level that I am living my dream. The best part is that my husband will soon be able to live his dream.

This morning I dropped my boys off at school. They waltzed in with great joy and anticipation of a great day. I then had two meetings with two of my favorite clients. I was then off to pick up those awesome little guys and we were off to a joint play date and business meeting. While I was enjoying my time with my colleagues in business, my boys played together with fellow entrepreneurial kids. By 5:30 I was on my way home to feed my kids and enjoy a quite evening home with the family. Of course once the boys are in bed I love to catch up on emails and continue to create my lifestyle.

I mean when I think about how hard it would be to juggle a "job" and kids, it just boggles the mind. This month at school has been a challenge for several parents at school because the flu hit. One mom is convinced she is losing her job because of all the time she has taken off to care for her son. Here I am building a big business, a great team and raising a great family. I really have to pinch myself to see if this real.

Thank you for the blessings, may they continue and may I continue to deserve them.