December - A Time for Reflection

One of the things I look to do at the end of each year is review what the year has been about and see if I can find what I have learned. Usually there are many lessons, the question is have I learned anything. I have been particularly reflective this year. Then I looked at my planning calendar which I used to plan out my business year and saw the theme which said: "Change: Embrace change and recognize that life is in constant motion. When boundaries are seen as opportunities, the world becomes a limitless place." For the record, no one was cited for that quote on my calendar.

I suddenly realized that this year my theme has been Embrace Change. My office moved, my son was diagnosed with major food allergies which required a whole new way of eating, we decided to homeschool our boys and my business focus is in transition to accommodate our new lifestyle. I have to admit there have been times during this year where I have felt paralyzed by the enormity of the changes. Any one change is enough to add stress, yet I had many major changes.

So what have I learned, hmm. I have learned

• it is okay to grieve what was,
• it is okay feel afraid,
• it is okay to ask for help,
• it is okay to fall apart for a little while,
• it is okay to take your time to heal,
• it is okay to take your time to work through the changes, and
• I don't have to have all the answers today. I make one decision at a time and then I look for the next right thing to do.

It has been an interesting journey, and one I could not have done without the help of my family, friends, coaches, business associates and most of all my God who has given me strength and a peace that surpasses all understanding during a time when I needed some peace. Here is a great quote that helps keep me on track when change hits me in the face. I hope it encourages you.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson

Change, cha cha changes . . .

All right, I am one who likes to go with the flow and roll with the punches. I would even say that I have spent a great deal of my life flying by the seat of my pants, but this is starting to get a bit crazy. In the last three months I have had a child diagnosed with serious food allergies, decided to home school the boys to help him through the healing process, changed the focus of my business and moved my office home. I have got to admit I am a bit overwhelmed by all the changes that are happening at the same time. It feels like I just start to catch my breath from one change when another seems to appear.

I find myself feeling off kilter and out of sync and I am wondering how to get back in sync. I will admit that I love homeschooling and our new lifestyle rocks. I truly wish I had done it sooner. Now I am putting it out to my God and the universe, I need a sign that I am on the right path and I am doing the right things. I am looking for encouragement on many levels.

I will keep you posted as I travel down this path.

The Quest Is Nearing An End

It has been a bittersweet quest to determine if I am going to homeschool or not. Besides talking to other homeschooling moms, even ones who have businesses running and homeschool at the same time, I went to a homeschool mini-convention in my area. I have read up on the different styles of homeschooling and reviewed my boys learning styles as well as my teaching style. At the same time I had the boys visit a school that has been on our radar screen for many years, a Christian school. They truly felt at home there. They were welcomed and when I came to pick them up, they were energized. Based on all the research as well as the most recent parent-teachers conference, we are definitely leaning toward the Christian school option.

I must say that I am personally disappointed. I wanted more than anything to be a homeschooling mom. But in the final analysis, I feel it is in the best interest of the boys and their mom to be in a school setting for the time being. That being said, it does not mean I might not broach this subject in the future. I am leaving my options open and I will not say "never." It is possible that once my business evolves and my boys are older, it may make sense to homeschool them at that time. Even though the quest feels done, it is only on hiatus for the time being. Thanks for following the continuing saga. The good news is whatever decision we make for the boys, I know it will be the right decision for our family.

Summer Time & The Living is Easy

Who ever wrote that song was not a mom. Argh!! I love the song, but it's not been my experience. Being a mom and business owner brings on different challenges. I find it hard to think with out the space I am used to during the school year. I guess I feel sad that it is not enough for me to be a mom without the business. I love my boys, but the truth is, I am a more complete person when I have space to breath, be more than mom and flex some other muscles.

Today my friend prayed with me over the phone. I was feeling particularly overwhelmed by some challenges. It was so great to be able to share with her in the moment where I was. She is a fellow business owner, Christian and mom. She's walked in my shoes. For a moment I was very honest and open, and she took that and ran with it. I asked her to pray for me as I try to get through my feelings and she stopped everything she was doing to pray with me right then and there. Now I have to be honest, I don't want to sound like a whiner. I know life could be worse. Yet, in the moment, I knew I needed to be honest and ask for help. That was hard for me to do. I have been taught to buck up and deal with it. I am, but I still have strong feelings about what bucking up and and dealing with it feels like.

When life comes at you fast, take a moment and share how you are feeling. Ask for help if you need it. I can tell you from personal experience, it feels good to share your burdens.

If it's to be, It's up to You!

This was my prayer tonight.

There are days when I just want to hit the button on my recorder to play the words I say over and over again to my boys. I have read lots of books on parenting, even Bring Up Boys, by James Dobson. They all say this is normal. They did not say it would be easy.

Oh, for the Grace to stay calm and the ability to show Mercy. There are days when I just want to give myself a time out. Thank you Lord for these quite moments of reflection.