Time Flies When . . .

Oh my, I was talking with two friends yesterday (we were working on a plan to save the world-more on that in another post) when I realized that we are going into our 3rd year of homeschooling. I am feeling very grateful so so many things. Words cannot describe just how amazing our lives are and how we have all changed because of our decision to homeschool. Yes, there have been some bumpy spots, I will not lie. In fact there have been times when I wished the bus would stop in front of our home. The good news is that "feeling" passes and we continue, we persevere. Why, because we are committed to this life, this lifestyle and our boys. There really is no one who can love my boys, encourage them and help them grow any more than I do. So we press on with much joy and yes some trepidation.

So stay tuned as we embark on year three (3)! There will be lots of stories and new adventures. I hope you enjoy the ride.

Change, cha cha changes . . .

All right, I am one who likes to go with the flow and roll with the punches. I would even say that I have spent a great deal of my life flying by the seat of my pants, but this is starting to get a bit crazy. In the last three months I have had a child diagnosed with serious food allergies, decided to home school the boys to help him through the healing process, changed the focus of my business and moved my office home. I have got to admit I am a bit overwhelmed by all the changes that are happening at the same time. It feels like I just start to catch my breath from one change when another seems to appear.

I find myself feeling off kilter and out of sync and I am wondering how to get back in sync. I will admit that I love homeschooling and our new lifestyle rocks. I truly wish I had done it sooner. Now I am putting it out to my God and the universe, I need a sign that I am on the right path and I am doing the right things. I am looking for encouragement on many levels.

I will keep you posted as I travel down this path.

How to make God Laugh . . .

Tell him your plan! Yes, this has been the year I have realized that I need to truly understand what it means to surrender. It took a very difficult summer with lots of doctor visits, lab work and major medical expenses to realize that God has a different plan for me and my family. At first I fought the plan, spent time in denial. Then I realized it was time and I gave into it. An amazing thing happened. As I truly started to let go and give in to God's leading for my life. The peace that surpasses all understanding was released in me. Also, people have fallen upon my path to help me down this new road. I feel content, energized even though I am completely out of my comfort zone.
It reminds me of a song where there main chorus is Life is Hard, But God is good. So true! Today I am grateful for learning to trust and to try to work on my ability to surrender and be obedient. I know it will take time, but I am in it for the long haul so I am just enjoying the ride.

To Homeschool or Not to Homeschool that is the Question . . .

Oh the battle rages on. Where? In my mind and in my heart. I have always wanted to homeschool. When I had my secretarial service I actually managed a homeschool database and was thrilled to see how many families were successfully homeschooling their children. Then I had my two boys and postpartum depression. I thought then, oh my I am not meant to be home 24/7 with my two boys. That has worked for a few years. However, as my boys grow older and their experiences at school become more diverse, I am finding myself looking again at the option of homeschooling.

No I don't want to control everything they do. No I am not feeling alone and need their company. I have a full and busy day as a business owner. I love that my boys are independent, I don't want robots. The reason is that my boys are getting more than an education (reading, writing and math). They are getting some socialization that quite frankly I am not happy with.

I know from talking to successful homeschooling parents that the curriculum part of the day only takes 3 hours. The rest of the time at school tends to be fluff and filler. I now know several business owners who homeschool their children and do their business around their homeschool schedule. They have the best of both worlds. So I am again pondering what to do. I plan on doing some research so that I can make a good decision. Not one based on emotions, but on what is best for my two boys. Keep me in your prayers and thoughts as I wrestle with this one. It is big and it could be life changing.

Think, think, think . . .

As I sit here at 10:41 pm and ponder on the day, I am struck by a melancholy feeling. I am unsettled, confused and yearning to figure it all out. The problem is I do not know what questions to ask. I don't know how to fix this. I don't even know what this is. I must admit, I do not do this gracefully. I am usually the one people come to for answers. I am the "fixer" of the group. So how do I fix this? Good question. I think for right now, I need to sit in it a while and see if I can figure it out. I don't do that well either. So wish me luck.

Was it only one week?

Last week felt like a lifetime. I know it was me, and I accept that as my truth. My boys started camp today. It is interesting what a difference a week can make. I was very busy today, with lots of appointments, I drove quite a distance between appointments, dropped and picked up boys and equipment, just to name a few of my many tasks for the day. And yet today, I felt calm, cool and collected. I don't believe I raised my voice much today. Even with my youngest melting down as I dropped him off to a new camp with unfamiliar settings. It was great.

What have I learned about myself? I always ask myself, "self, what have I learned about me?" Today I learned that I have to accept who I am. I am a mom of two exuberant boys. I am a business owner. I love being a mom who loves being a business owner. I feel most complete when I get to exercise all of me. The mom muscles as well as the business muscles. When I don't get to do both, I am not as happy.

I also learned that I have another side of me I need to nurture. It is the "me" part of me. I have found that I don't take time to take care of me. I know when that happens because I find myself saying things like "When is someone going to take care of me?" So I am on a path to find a way to take care of me on a more regular basis.

Lastly, I learned that I have a wife muscle that I had put on the back burner. This weekend I had time to spend quality time with my husband. I realized that is very important. So in my exercise program, I need to add that to my list.

Hm, this seems like a lot. I have faith because I have a strong spiritual muscle. So I will pray and seek guidance on how to create a plan that takes all of my muscles into account.

Wish me luck -- this is cool.

Just What I Needed To Hear Today

Conquering any difficulty always gives one a secret joy, for it means pushing back a boundary-line and adding to one's liberty.
-- Henri Frederic Amiel

I think I Can, I think I Can, I think I Can . . .

I have to admit I am exhausted. It was not a stellar day. It ended well, however, I had a moment where I just wanted to throw up my hands and just give up. There is nothing that gives me more joy than being a mom. And yet, there are times (like during homework) when I find myself wondering, what can I do different to help this be a more positive experience. Is it me? Or do other people experience the challenges of getting homework done without a battle? If you have experienced this and have conquered it, please share with us your wit and wisdom on doing homework. If not, remember, you are not alone.

On a brighter note, I am convinced this will be all a faded memory and it is part of a character building program. I also know that my boys are bright and energetic and once they get it, they get it. So I just need to be patient along the way. (She says to herself as she remembers her deep breathing exercises.)