What's a girl to do?

Have you ever felt so powerless you feel like pulling your hair out. That is how I feel today. I have people in my life that are struggling with things, and I cannot fix it for them. I am a fixer by nature, so it is hard for me to just sit back and just be there for them.

The part that is so frustrating is that when people get in this place, they become paralyzed by the enormity of the situation and their own feelings of powerlessness. So they end up walking in circles, talking to themselves, picking things up and putting them down, moving from one room and forgetting why they went their in the first place and not sleeping, just to name a few. I want to use my magic wand to fix it and then I realize that is only on TV. I don't have a magic wand so all I can do is listen and be supportive, perhaps every now and then offer a voice of reason. It's not easy.

There is one thing I can do, and I do that every night, pray.

Ah . . . This is living!

Today I experienced something wonderful, a pedicure. Seems simple, yet it was almost a spiritual experience. As I sat still for an hour and had someone take care of me for a complete hour, I just sat and stayed present. I felt all the feelings. The warmth of the water, the roughness of the scrub and the stone, the gentleness and tingling of the lotions and then my feet were heated with hot towels. This experience ended with a touch of color. Seems simple yet it was so splendid. I don't often sit still, and I never am quiet. It was nice to be pampered. For me it was like a little vacation and now I have "Happy Feet." I recommend it to everyone.

Is it that time again?

"Summer time and the living is easy." Who ever wrote those words to a song, never ran a business and had children all at the same time. As I sit here with the sun shinning and the temperatures reaching 85, I realized that in three short weeks my boys will be out of school. The good news is that this year I have a plan. I feel somewhat calmer than I usually do. Is that the calm before the storm? (Think positive, don't go there.) I am looking forward to a great summer filled with fun, sun, boys and toys and plenty of work to keep me busy. Catch me in four weeks and we will see how things are going?

Snuggle Time is Special Time

It's funny how the little things in life mean so much. As the boys get older and bigger, life clearly gets more hectic. Not in a bad way, all good stuff. Yet there are moments when you just want to slow down. It is in those moments that I get the nuggets I need to help me keep moving when I don't feel like moving. Like a snuggle with David and his "sweety" bunny on the floor, usually with a blanket and a good story. Or tucking Tom in to bed and he wants a few minutes to talk. It is in those moments that I know life is good. Life is full of hard choices, and great rewards if you take time to see.

Was that me who said yes?

Oops! I did it again. In a weak moment I was asked if I would co-president the Parents Association Board. I said sure, if no one else steps up to the plate. After all, I thought, someone else will surely throw in their hat for the position. Long story short, I am co-president. The good news is the other co-president is a very responsible person who I think will be great to work with. So I look forward to another great year of helping make the school a better place to be. Wish me luck.

When the kitchen gets too hot, put out the fire!

What does that mean? Let me put it this way, I woke up one day and found out that life was getting a little bit crazy, and I was no longer in control. Maybe I have never been in control. So once I realized that my business was taking over my life and my kids were getting left behind, I took a moment to regroup. Today, two weeks away from Mother's Day, I can safely say that I think it's all coming together.

• I had a meeting with my biggest client and gracefully explained that I was not ready to take on so many hours, and I would be happy to help them find a replacement for me,
• I started an new profit center in my business that will allow me to take care of my business and my family - check it out: www.businessmarketinggym.com,
• I started carving out time for myself, yes me.

It is like a fog has lifted and a my burden is lightened. I am sleeping better. My kids are happier. My house is cleaner. And I am happier. What a great feeling. I am glad I listened to myself and my kids and reexamined my priorities. There will be lots of time to make money, but, I only have today to give to my boys.

Romantic Valentines?

Valentine's Day is our wedding anniversary. I have been married 20 years this year -- hard to believe. So what do you do on such a special day when you have a 7 and 4 year old? Share the celebration! After all we are a family now, all of us. So we are going to have fun together by going to a sporting event wtih the boys. They will love it, and I get a night out. Not a bad deal. I guess romance can come later.

Change Your Thoughts to Change Your Life

I am always looking for ways to improve and become a better person. I recently came across a free e-book and downloaded it. It is clearly changing who I am, and how I think. It is so powerful I felt the need to share it with you. It's called As a Man Thinketh by James Allen. Check it out.

As A Man Thinketh Download a FREE eBook of James Allen’s

What happened to the Time?

Oh my goodness!!! I just came to my blog and found it has been more than a month since I posted. Where has all the time gone. It's a new year and a new blog!

Well, I'm back. The holidays got the best of me and something had to give. I was able to manage my business which was pretty hectic, make cookies, get ready for the holidays, help at the school and survive the winter break in one piece. So now it is time to get serious. I am here to say 2007 is going to be the year of action. Last year, 2006 was my year of rebirth and integrity. This year it is all about action! Stay tuned.

. . . Hear Us Roar

Wow, I was just blown away by some amazing statistics. Check them out for yourself:


Women-Owned Businesses Continue to Outpace Growth Rates for All Other Firms
09-12-2006

Washington, DC – Women-owned firms continue to grow at twice the rate of all firms, according to the biennial update by the Center for Women’s Business Research.
As of 2006, the Center estimates there are 7.7 million majority women-owned firms (firms at least 51% owned by a woman or women). Between 1997 and 2006 the number of majority women-owned firms increased from 5.4 to 7.7 million, an increase of 42%, almost double that of all firms (23%).

OPEN from American ExpressSM is the exclusive underwriter of the 2006 biennial update.
“The number of women-owned firms has grown at around twice the rate of all firms for more than two decades,” said Marjorie Alfus, chair of the Center for Women’s Business Research. “Women business owners are significant players in the nation’s economy and their momentum shows no sign of slowing down.”

The new projections also show that there are 10.4 million businesses 50% or more owned by a woman or women that employ 13 million employees and generate nearly $2 trillion ($1.9) in revenues.

In 2006, majority women-owned firms are expected to generate more than $1 trillion ($1.1) in revenues and employ 7.2 million workers. Nearly three-quarters (74%) of all women-owned firms are majority women-owned.

“OPEN from American Express is an active partner of women entrepreneurs as they grow their businesses,” said Susan Sobbott, president, OPEN from American ExpressSM. “Our work with the Center for Women’s Business Research helps quantify the significant contribution women are making in the economy in terms of economic growth and job creation. And through our Make Mine a $Million Business program (www.makemineamillion.org) we are changing the lives of women entrepreneurs by helping them turn high-potential businesses into million-dollar enterprises.”

The fastest growing industry sectors for majority-owned firms (between 1997 and 2006) are wholesale trade (283%), health care services (130%), arts, entertainment and recreation (117%), and professional, scientific and technical services (83%). The largest percentage of majority women-owned firms is in the service sector (69%) followed by retail trade (14%).
The 2006 regional, state and metro updates of women-owned businesses will be released in late fall of this year.

Thoughts for Today

I have been thinking about what I have learned over the years at various trainings. This is what immediately came to mind. I hope it encourages someone today.

"Failure is an event, it is not a person."
"Action conquers fear."
"When the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing, change will happen."
"I can't, but God can so I will."
"If it's to be, it's up to me."
"Winners do what non-winners won't."

I wish I knew who said all these great things. All I can do is share them.

Out Of The Mouths of Babes

Yesterday we had an amazing storm. We had high winds and rain. The streets were like rivers and I was dodging debris as I drove. Finally as the storm started to clear, there was an amazing rainbow. It was the most vibrant rainbow I had ever seen. In fact it made the who sky look pink. I called my boys and we ran out to enjoy one of God's miracles. We love sharing rainbows with each other. After a while the rainbow started to fade. My son David who is now 4 said "Mom, look the rainbow is disintegrating." For me I was amazing at the insights of my guys and their great vocabulary. They are like my little rainbows. Thank you God.

Too many choices and not enough time

Today I finally did it. I made a call to a business associate who has been trying to get me to join his group. After saying no several times, he sweetened the pot enough that I had said yes and then as the first meeting date arrived, I realized it was going to be impossible. For me it meant a substantial time commitment of more than 6 hours a month. I know I would have benefited both financially and personally, but I could not squeeze another day out of my already full life. So I did it, I called. Ah, there it is done. I must say I am relieved, yet sad at the same time. But I had to make a choice.

I also read an article about women who have balance in their lives. Today was a good start towards achieving that for myself. I have turned down this opportunity. I have also started a new bible study which will be a weekly commitment. I know that does not make sense since I said I had no time, but I feel it is important to make time for that. It based on my priorities. Now as I look at my calendar I have realized that I have time for my clients, to grow my business, for my spiritual enrichment and for myself. It's a start. Now I just have to work the plan.

The Good Old Days

Today I had a personal revelation. I was getting dinner ready and washing some dishes while my mother-in-law was playing with the kids. She was helping Tom with his homework and David with a computer game. It was calm and there was just a nice energy in the house. I was not stressed about how to get it all done. I was at peace. What was different? Then I realized I was not alone. Now I know that I am never alone. Yes, for me the Good Lord is always with me, guiding my steps. But I actually had a warm body who also loved my boys in the house.

Then I thought back to my childhood. My dad was sick with cancer. He died when I was 13. I lived in a place that had a courtyard, in what was called garden apartments. In my complex lived my uncle and his family, my grandparents and my dad's cousin. As a kid, I never knew if my dad was going to be home and all right when I got home from school. There were times he was rushed to the hospital and someone else was there to take care of us. My mom never had to worry about help, it was a few doors down. The sense of family, the community that took care of each other, I guess the clan was there. So even though life was stressful, we took care of each other.

Now fast forward to today. Most families don't think twice about moving to other cities and even other states to live and raise their families. And now I ask myself, at what cost. I am here in my town, essentially alone. Because of who I am I have created a surrogate family but it's not the same. Having this precious time with my mother-in-law has made me realize just how much our generation and future generations are missing by the global movement. Thomas Hilton, the architect talks about creating villages in his work and I long for the village way of life.

It's Official - I wrote them down!

What am I talking about. Today, I took a huge step for Lia-kind. I wrote down three aggressive goals for myself including deadlines and action steps. Yes, I am ready to go to the next level.

It all started because I was fortunate enough to participate in a program with a Marketing Coach, Milana Leshinsky (www.milana.com), that gave me a free goal setting session with Solution Box Coaching (www.freegoalsreport.com). In 5 minutes, I filled out an assessment and now I have a goal setting report that I can refer to. And I even set up an accountability component to this. Pretty amazing. So here I am saying "What have I done?" After all, now I have to do it. It's in writing.

The power of written goals is amazing. I will let you know how it goes. I should be miles ahead on January 7, 2007. Check in and see!!!

Sometimes We Just Have To Believe

It has been a difficult 24 hours, for many reasons. First there was the news about the Amish School and it's tragedy. Who can be a mom and not feel agony as the horror unfolded. Then I was checking in with a friend, whom I am collaborating with to create an event for school. She was having a bad day. She had to have a mole removed that was suspicious and of course all the fear was right there for her. She has three young boys and she ran through all the worse case senarios. As for me, I was feeling like a terrible mom because I had went shopping with my two boys and lets say it was not a positive experience. And by the time I got home, my boys were grounded to their rooms for life (okay, I am exaggerating, it was just until I got dinner ready). And I took my time. As I went off to sleep, I prayed for everyone. It was a day filled with sadness and yes hope.

And then the morning came. On the way to school we saw a rainbow. It was a sign to me that God is still in control, even in the midst of these trials. We don't see the big picture, just our little frame. He does and we have to trust that he has our best interest in mind. And yes, he is not picking on us, he is picking us up.

It's That Time of Year Again

Yes, the results are in and the issue is out. Working Mothers Magazine has published it's list of the top 100 companies to work for. To check it out for yourself, just click on the article link: 100 Best Companies.

What I found interesting is what they measured. Seven areas are measured and scored: workforce profile, compensation, child care, flexibility, time off and leaves, family-friendly programs and company culture.

It is clear that companies are getting the message. Women are valuable employees and if companies want their contribution, they are going to have to create an environment that is women friendly, family friendly. Way to go Moms!!

Where there's a will, there's a Mother

In the course of my day I do research on many topics. Usually it is to help a client, to understand their needs more. Sometimes, it's for me. I am always looking to see if there are people like me out there. And if so, how do they do it. I love to hear about success stories as well as the struggles. It helps me stay grounded. I recently stumbled across an article about how women are creating their own environments to enable them to balance family and career. They are looking for ways to be whole people who are parents. I wanted to share this with you because I found it encouraging. Enjoy. It's called: Career moms find new ways to make it work

I Need a New Super Hero!!!

Okay, maybe not a super hero, maybe just a clue. Here is the question, how long does it take to get boys to actually hit the toilet when they urinate? (I guess I should have put on the potty talk disclaimer.) There are days when I feel like I could clean the bathroom on a daily basis and it would still smell like the stairwell in a subway station. I posed this question to the Financial Director at the school where my boys go. I was hoping for some encouragement, after all her boys are now older. Alas, she threw her hands up and said she's learned to just give up and not sweat the small stuff.

Maybe someone could invent a toilet that does cool stuff inside when the urine hits it. Like a magical bullseye appears as they hit the water. Boys are competitive, they would want to win. It puts a whole new twist to the term "pissing contest."

Maybe someone can create a toilet that when urine hits the outside sounds a loud alarm and magically releases wipes for the perpertrator to use.

I am not sure what the answer is, but I know that I long for a day that I have two bathrooms. One for "them" and one for me. In the meantime I dream of the superhero who can clean it faster than I can. In the book Captain Underpants the talked about creating "The Urinator." I think his time has come.

How Do You Spell Relief . . . School!!!!

Yippee!! If you could hear me, you would hear the sounds of giggling and squealing with joy. Today as I drove to the school to drop off my boys, there was a great feeling of elation. The boys were so excited. They could not wait to see their friends. They hugged their teachers and got busy doing what they do best, have fun. I left feeling satisfied that they were in good hands and content. I then moved on to my next two appointments. Both went well. One actually went great. For a brief moment I was starting to feel that familiar feeling again, wholeness, competency. I know this sounds strange, but for me being part of something outside of me is important and what I do for a living really energizes me. As I sit with my clients I fill up with joy as I am able to help them. And then as I round up my boys, I am content to be with them. I actually had time to miss them. It was a great day.