Too many choices and not enough time

Today I finally did it. I made a call to a business associate who has been trying to get me to join his group. After saying no several times, he sweetened the pot enough that I had said yes and then as the first meeting date arrived, I realized it was going to be impossible. For me it meant a substantial time commitment of more than 6 hours a month. I know I would have benefited both financially and personally, but I could not squeeze another day out of my already full life. So I did it, I called. Ah, there it is done. I must say I am relieved, yet sad at the same time. But I had to make a choice.

I also read an article about women who have balance in their lives. Today was a good start towards achieving that for myself. I have turned down this opportunity. I have also started a new bible study which will be a weekly commitment. I know that does not make sense since I said I had no time, but I feel it is important to make time for that. It based on my priorities. Now as I look at my calendar I have realized that I have time for my clients, to grow my business, for my spiritual enrichment and for myself. It's a start. Now I just have to work the plan.

The Good Old Days

Today I had a personal revelation. I was getting dinner ready and washing some dishes while my mother-in-law was playing with the kids. She was helping Tom with his homework and David with a computer game. It was calm and there was just a nice energy in the house. I was not stressed about how to get it all done. I was at peace. What was different? Then I realized I was not alone. Now I know that I am never alone. Yes, for me the Good Lord is always with me, guiding my steps. But I actually had a warm body who also loved my boys in the house.

Then I thought back to my childhood. My dad was sick with cancer. He died when I was 13. I lived in a place that had a courtyard, in what was called garden apartments. In my complex lived my uncle and his family, my grandparents and my dad's cousin. As a kid, I never knew if my dad was going to be home and all right when I got home from school. There were times he was rushed to the hospital and someone else was there to take care of us. My mom never had to worry about help, it was a few doors down. The sense of family, the community that took care of each other, I guess the clan was there. So even though life was stressful, we took care of each other.

Now fast forward to today. Most families don't think twice about moving to other cities and even other states to live and raise their families. And now I ask myself, at what cost. I am here in my town, essentially alone. Because of who I am I have created a surrogate family but it's not the same. Having this precious time with my mother-in-law has made me realize just how much our generation and future generations are missing by the global movement. Thomas Hilton, the architect talks about creating villages in his work and I long for the village way of life.

It's Official - I wrote them down!

What am I talking about. Today, I took a huge step for Lia-kind. I wrote down three aggressive goals for myself including deadlines and action steps. Yes, I am ready to go to the next level.

It all started because I was fortunate enough to participate in a program with a Marketing Coach, Milana Leshinsky (www.milana.com), that gave me a free goal setting session with Solution Box Coaching (www.freegoalsreport.com). In 5 minutes, I filled out an assessment and now I have a goal setting report that I can refer to. And I even set up an accountability component to this. Pretty amazing. So here I am saying "What have I done?" After all, now I have to do it. It's in writing.

The power of written goals is amazing. I will let you know how it goes. I should be miles ahead on January 7, 2007. Check in and see!!!

Sometimes We Just Have To Believe

It has been a difficult 24 hours, for many reasons. First there was the news about the Amish School and it's tragedy. Who can be a mom and not feel agony as the horror unfolded. Then I was checking in with a friend, whom I am collaborating with to create an event for school. She was having a bad day. She had to have a mole removed that was suspicious and of course all the fear was right there for her. She has three young boys and she ran through all the worse case senarios. As for me, I was feeling like a terrible mom because I had went shopping with my two boys and lets say it was not a positive experience. And by the time I got home, my boys were grounded to their rooms for life (okay, I am exaggerating, it was just until I got dinner ready). And I took my time. As I went off to sleep, I prayed for everyone. It was a day filled with sadness and yes hope.

And then the morning came. On the way to school we saw a rainbow. It was a sign to me that God is still in control, even in the midst of these trials. We don't see the big picture, just our little frame. He does and we have to trust that he has our best interest in mind. And yes, he is not picking on us, he is picking us up.

It's That Time of Year Again

Yes, the results are in and the issue is out. Working Mothers Magazine has published it's list of the top 100 companies to work for. To check it out for yourself, just click on the article link: 100 Best Companies.

What I found interesting is what they measured. Seven areas are measured and scored: workforce profile, compensation, child care, flexibility, time off and leaves, family-friendly programs and company culture.

It is clear that companies are getting the message. Women are valuable employees and if companies want their contribution, they are going to have to create an environment that is women friendly, family friendly. Way to go Moms!!

Where there's a will, there's a Mother

In the course of my day I do research on many topics. Usually it is to help a client, to understand their needs more. Sometimes, it's for me. I am always looking to see if there are people like me out there. And if so, how do they do it. I love to hear about success stories as well as the struggles. It helps me stay grounded. I recently stumbled across an article about how women are creating their own environments to enable them to balance family and career. They are looking for ways to be whole people who are parents. I wanted to share this with you because I found it encouraging. Enjoy. It's called: Career moms find new ways to make it work

I Need a New Super Hero!!!

Okay, maybe not a super hero, maybe just a clue. Here is the question, how long does it take to get boys to actually hit the toilet when they urinate? (I guess I should have put on the potty talk disclaimer.) There are days when I feel like I could clean the bathroom on a daily basis and it would still smell like the stairwell in a subway station. I posed this question to the Financial Director at the school where my boys go. I was hoping for some encouragement, after all her boys are now older. Alas, she threw her hands up and said she's learned to just give up and not sweat the small stuff.

Maybe someone could invent a toilet that does cool stuff inside when the urine hits it. Like a magical bullseye appears as they hit the water. Boys are competitive, they would want to win. It puts a whole new twist to the term "pissing contest."

Maybe someone can create a toilet that when urine hits the outside sounds a loud alarm and magically releases wipes for the perpertrator to use.

I am not sure what the answer is, but I know that I long for a day that I have two bathrooms. One for "them" and one for me. In the meantime I dream of the superhero who can clean it faster than I can. In the book Captain Underpants the talked about creating "The Urinator." I think his time has come.

How Do You Spell Relief . . . School!!!!

Yippee!! If you could hear me, you would hear the sounds of giggling and squealing with joy. Today as I drove to the school to drop off my boys, there was a great feeling of elation. The boys were so excited. They could not wait to see their friends. They hugged their teachers and got busy doing what they do best, have fun. I left feeling satisfied that they were in good hands and content. I then moved on to my next two appointments. Both went well. One actually went great. For a brief moment I was starting to feel that familiar feeling again, wholeness, competency. I know this sounds strange, but for me being part of something outside of me is important and what I do for a living really energizes me. As I sit with my clients I fill up with joy as I am able to help them. And then as I round up my boys, I am content to be with them. I actually had time to miss them. It was a great day.

Can you hear that sound?

Yes, it's the sound of the clock ticking. The back to school clock. It's only 47 hours until the official first day of school. Yes, I am counting the hours. I am also preparing a list of things I want to get done during my window of opportunity that the kids are in school. I am finding if I don't have a list, I don't get anything done. It's interesting the more time I have to myself, the less I get done so the list helps.

Don't get me wrong, I will miss my kids. I will also appreciate them more when I see them in the afternoon. I was talking to a fellow mom last night and we both agreed that 3 months is too long for summer vacation. The kids need structure and to be back in school sooner.

So I will be back on Thursday to let you know how it goes!!!

Can You Spell Frustrated?

As I sit here seething with frustration, I feel torn. I had to cancel an appointment with a client today because I had no sitter. So I am angry that I cannot manage my business obligations. Yet, I want to enjoy my boys who will be back in school in only 13 short more days (but who is counting). I realize that the boys sense my frustration and don't know what to do, so they tend to argue and fight more. Finally, I relegated myself to the fact that I cannot work for the next two weeks. So we went upstairs, and I straightened up while the boys played. Shortly, we will go out and play in the back yard and then I will start to plan the afternoon. Alas, if I don't adjust, I will miss it all. So with all these feelings I must admit that frustration will pass but the boys will only be this small for a day.

Ahhhhh I Love Vacations!!!!!!

Even though in the last 8 days we drove 3,000 miles with two children ages 7 and 4, I feel rested and relaxed. It's amazing what a change of scenery can do. We were up and down the East Coast. We bought Georgia Peaches in Georgia and ate boiled peanuts. We hung out with Pedro at South of the Border. We ate a Texas steak in North Carolina and spent the night in a Days Inn in Virginia. All in all it was a great time. Busch Gardens in Tampa was great and so was Chinese food in Ft. Lauderdale. But the best was spending time with my Mom and Dad in their home in Cape Coral and swimming with the boys in their pool and building sand castles and memories on the beach. This is what summer is all about.

What's a Girl to do? Argh!!!!

Have you ever been put in a position where you damned if you do and damned if you don't. Today, that is how I feel. I want and need a vacation more than anything. A vacation where I can really relax. You know the kind, get up when I want, sit by the pool and eat dinner at 8:00. All summer I have been looking forward to this vacation. It has been a beacon, a light at the end of a long tunnel. And because of the usual financial stresses I saw the light growing dimmer. Alas, I was feeling dismayed. Long story, short. I was given the option that if we could not go on my "dream" vacation that provision would be made for me and the boys. Of course I would have to make arrangements for my honey. I knew, in my heart of hearts, my husband would come to the rescue and find a way for us to go, but it was not before we had the very unpleasant conversation that turned into a major blow up. One like I can't remember. So I ask, what's a girl to do? I, of course, need to stand by my husband. And I will. Yet, my vacation is almost medicinal at this point. I can't be with out it. So if I go, it is with an unhappy husband who is going begrudgingly (albeit grinning and bearing it). If I don't go, well I can't even think of that option, let's just say Mom will be a very unhappy camper. There are times I just hate being a grown up. Argh!!

19 Minute A Day

This report is so staggering I had to share it with you. As I sit here in my home, fans a blaze trying to move the air from my one air conditioner and my boys play with paper and scissors, I read with disbelief. People place a higher priority on TV watching and sleep than spending time with their kids. What is happening to society.

Today, I have a fun day planned with the boys that include a play date at a bowling alley and a trip to get pretzels. Yes, I could be doing other things, working on the computer or cleaning the house. But, when all is said and done, will any of that matter. I think not. Read the report for yourself. 19 Minutes A Day

It's Amazing What Happens When I Get Out of the Way

Yesterday I had to have a little surgery. It required general anesthia and a bit of rest. So I was concerned how the day would go. As always, my family rose to the occasion. As it turned out, I was able to be home by 11:00. I slept till 12:30 and decided to make my way downstairs to rest on couch. My husband brought me lunch and had already handled getting the boys picked up from camp. The boys were brought home and Jim kept them busy all afternoon while I rested. To my delight we ordered in Chinese food for dinner - yummy. Then Jim got the boys ready for bed including baths.

Imagine my biggest surprise when I woke to find their lunches packed and their clothes picked out. He loaded the van with everything they needed for camp. All I had to do is feed them breakfast and we were off. All in all it has been a pretty good day. The hardest part was letting my family take care of me, but once I allowed that to happen, they were thrilled to do it.

When a hug is all you need!

Sometimes the simple things apply. Today, I went to pick up my boys from camp. They were clearly hot and exhausted. However, they would never admit that. They were a bit testy, in fact at one moment they were down right grumpy. My initial instinct was to take the boys home and banish them to their rooms till their dad got home and then make my escape. But as I headed home I realized they were just tired.

As I opened the door to let Tom out, I opened my arms and gave him a gentle, lasting hug. I could feel the tension melt. Within minutes we were one happy family again. Within a half our, my boys were rested, fed and ready for the rest of the day. I am so glad I took time to give a hug. All they wanted was to be loved and understood. Afterall, isn't that what we all want.

Thank Goodness for the Village

It is amazing what a few good people can get done, in particular a resourceful mom. I guess that's what a "streetsmartmom" is all about.

I live in a great town, but I am hours away from any family that can help me. So over the years I have come to depend upon a few good friends who have become my "village." Today was a great example. I had my first Get Clients Now! seminar. I was very nervous. On top of that, I had to be an hour from home at 7:45 am. My kids did not have to be at camp till 9:00. My husband was willing to help, but was concerned about taking time off because he is already taking Thursday off to help me. So in came Kathleen, my trusted villager. I got up early and had everything ready including the boys dressed, bags packed and car seats ready to go. Jim took the handoff and dropped off the boys to Kathleen. Then Kathleen carried on with the boys.

So what did this mean to me? I was off to my seminar and confident my boys were being well taken care of. Peace of mind, what is that worth! It helps me feel confident that I am in a position to take care of my boys who are loved and nurtured, and I can grow my business.

A 24-hour Vacation

Have you ever gone away -- overnight, and felt so relaxed it felt like you had been on a real vacation. Well, if not, you need to try it. We just came home after spending only 24-hours away and we felt thoroughly rejuvenated. We went camping with friends my husband has known since high school. Our kids played and we sat by the fire and talked. We ate, rested, swam in the creek, rode bikes, helped build a gazebo, slept in a tent and sat by the campfire. It was pure heaven.

The phone never rang, there was no TV, no running water, no electricity and no real amenities. Honestly, I did not miss them. Although I will admit that I took a shower as soon as I got home. And the mosquito's were out and seemed to have me as their favorite choice of food. But even with that, I had a great time. I recommend a one day mini-vacation. It does wonders.

Summer - Argh!

Okay, well I am not really complaining. I am just sitting here in my house with several fans running and wondering when I can get my house work done. My husband, very lovingly, commented yesterday that it was a disaster. I know he didn't ask about if I was out of bon bons, but I couldn't help but wonder if he thinks that is what I do all day.

As I think about my days, which include getting my boys to camp, working with clients, running errands, helping my husband with his business, shopping for food, preparing meals, getting boys cleaned (daily?), fitting a shower in for me every now and then and whatever other duties as assigned, I wonder when will have time to thoroughly get my house clean up. So, I will continue to ponder as I sit here and figure out how will I be on a 2:00 conference call while I am supposed to be picking up my boys at 2:00. Hmm.

Ode to Summer Camp

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Did I say thank you? Yes I am grateful for summer camp. My boys are thoroughly played out and they really had a good time. I actually had time. Yes, 5 hours of discretionary time. Yes, they were already booked, but they were mine. So what can I say, but Thank you.

I'm tired . . .

There are times when all I want is a good nights sleep. Oh, how I miss the carefree teenage days when I slept in until noon and then slowly moved into my day. Today I was able to sleep in until 7:30 (oh the ecstasy). At which time I hit the ground running with two little boys who are ready to face the day with great big smiles on their faces. Oh, where are the sun glasses.