Can You Spell Frustrated?

As I sit here seething with frustration, I feel torn. I had to cancel an appointment with a client today because I had no sitter. So I am angry that I cannot manage my business obligations. Yet, I want to enjoy my boys who will be back in school in only 13 short more days (but who is counting). I realize that the boys sense my frustration and don't know what to do, so they tend to argue and fight more. Finally, I relegated myself to the fact that I cannot work for the next two weeks. So we went upstairs, and I straightened up while the boys played. Shortly, we will go out and play in the back yard and then I will start to plan the afternoon. Alas, if I don't adjust, I will miss it all. So with all these feelings I must admit that frustration will pass but the boys will only be this small for a day.

Ahhhhh I Love Vacations!!!!!!

Even though in the last 8 days we drove 3,000 miles with two children ages 7 and 4, I feel rested and relaxed. It's amazing what a change of scenery can do. We were up and down the East Coast. We bought Georgia Peaches in Georgia and ate boiled peanuts. We hung out with Pedro at South of the Border. We ate a Texas steak in North Carolina and spent the night in a Days Inn in Virginia. All in all it was a great time. Busch Gardens in Tampa was great and so was Chinese food in Ft. Lauderdale. But the best was spending time with my Mom and Dad in their home in Cape Coral and swimming with the boys in their pool and building sand castles and memories on the beach. This is what summer is all about.

What's a Girl to do? Argh!!!!

Have you ever been put in a position where you damned if you do and damned if you don't. Today, that is how I feel. I want and need a vacation more than anything. A vacation where I can really relax. You know the kind, get up when I want, sit by the pool and eat dinner at 8:00. All summer I have been looking forward to this vacation. It has been a beacon, a light at the end of a long tunnel. And because of the usual financial stresses I saw the light growing dimmer. Alas, I was feeling dismayed. Long story, short. I was given the option that if we could not go on my "dream" vacation that provision would be made for me and the boys. Of course I would have to make arrangements for my honey. I knew, in my heart of hearts, my husband would come to the rescue and find a way for us to go, but it was not before we had the very unpleasant conversation that turned into a major blow up. One like I can't remember. So I ask, what's a girl to do? I, of course, need to stand by my husband. And I will. Yet, my vacation is almost medicinal at this point. I can't be with out it. So if I go, it is with an unhappy husband who is going begrudgingly (albeit grinning and bearing it). If I don't go, well I can't even think of that option, let's just say Mom will be a very unhappy camper. There are times I just hate being a grown up. Argh!!

19 Minute A Day

This report is so staggering I had to share it with you. As I sit here in my home, fans a blaze trying to move the air from my one air conditioner and my boys play with paper and scissors, I read with disbelief. People place a higher priority on TV watching and sleep than spending time with their kids. What is happening to society.

Today, I have a fun day planned with the boys that include a play date at a bowling alley and a trip to get pretzels. Yes, I could be doing other things, working on the computer or cleaning the house. But, when all is said and done, will any of that matter. I think not. Read the report for yourself. 19 Minutes A Day

It's Amazing What Happens When I Get Out of the Way

Yesterday I had to have a little surgery. It required general anesthia and a bit of rest. So I was concerned how the day would go. As always, my family rose to the occasion. As it turned out, I was able to be home by 11:00. I slept till 12:30 and decided to make my way downstairs to rest on couch. My husband brought me lunch and had already handled getting the boys picked up from camp. The boys were brought home and Jim kept them busy all afternoon while I rested. To my delight we ordered in Chinese food for dinner - yummy. Then Jim got the boys ready for bed including baths.

Imagine my biggest surprise when I woke to find their lunches packed and their clothes picked out. He loaded the van with everything they needed for camp. All I had to do is feed them breakfast and we were off. All in all it has been a pretty good day. The hardest part was letting my family take care of me, but once I allowed that to happen, they were thrilled to do it.

When a hug is all you need!

Sometimes the simple things apply. Today, I went to pick up my boys from camp. They were clearly hot and exhausted. However, they would never admit that. They were a bit testy, in fact at one moment they were down right grumpy. My initial instinct was to take the boys home and banish them to their rooms till their dad got home and then make my escape. But as I headed home I realized they were just tired.

As I opened the door to let Tom out, I opened my arms and gave him a gentle, lasting hug. I could feel the tension melt. Within minutes we were one happy family again. Within a half our, my boys were rested, fed and ready for the rest of the day. I am so glad I took time to give a hug. All they wanted was to be loved and understood. Afterall, isn't that what we all want.

Thank Goodness for the Village

It is amazing what a few good people can get done, in particular a resourceful mom. I guess that's what a "streetsmartmom" is all about.

I live in a great town, but I am hours away from any family that can help me. So over the years I have come to depend upon a few good friends who have become my "village." Today was a great example. I had my first Get Clients Now! seminar. I was very nervous. On top of that, I had to be an hour from home at 7:45 am. My kids did not have to be at camp till 9:00. My husband was willing to help, but was concerned about taking time off because he is already taking Thursday off to help me. So in came Kathleen, my trusted villager. I got up early and had everything ready including the boys dressed, bags packed and car seats ready to go. Jim took the handoff and dropped off the boys to Kathleen. Then Kathleen carried on with the boys.

So what did this mean to me? I was off to my seminar and confident my boys were being well taken care of. Peace of mind, what is that worth! It helps me feel confident that I am in a position to take care of my boys who are loved and nurtured, and I can grow my business.

A 24-hour Vacation

Have you ever gone away -- overnight, and felt so relaxed it felt like you had been on a real vacation. Well, if not, you need to try it. We just came home after spending only 24-hours away and we felt thoroughly rejuvenated. We went camping with friends my husband has known since high school. Our kids played and we sat by the fire and talked. We ate, rested, swam in the creek, rode bikes, helped build a gazebo, slept in a tent and sat by the campfire. It was pure heaven.

The phone never rang, there was no TV, no running water, no electricity and no real amenities. Honestly, I did not miss them. Although I will admit that I took a shower as soon as I got home. And the mosquito's were out and seemed to have me as their favorite choice of food. But even with that, I had a great time. I recommend a one day mini-vacation. It does wonders.

Summer - Argh!

Okay, well I am not really complaining. I am just sitting here in my house with several fans running and wondering when I can get my house work done. My husband, very lovingly, commented yesterday that it was a disaster. I know he didn't ask about if I was out of bon bons, but I couldn't help but wonder if he thinks that is what I do all day.

As I think about my days, which include getting my boys to camp, working with clients, running errands, helping my husband with his business, shopping for food, preparing meals, getting boys cleaned (daily?), fitting a shower in for me every now and then and whatever other duties as assigned, I wonder when will have time to thoroughly get my house clean up. So, I will continue to ponder as I sit here and figure out how will I be on a 2:00 conference call while I am supposed to be picking up my boys at 2:00. Hmm.

Ode to Summer Camp

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Did I say thank you? Yes I am grateful for summer camp. My boys are thoroughly played out and they really had a good time. I actually had time. Yes, 5 hours of discretionary time. Yes, they were already booked, but they were mine. So what can I say, but Thank you.

I'm tired . . .

There are times when all I want is a good nights sleep. Oh, how I miss the carefree teenage days when I slept in until noon and then slowly moved into my day. Today I was able to sleep in until 7:30 (oh the ecstasy). At which time I hit the ground running with two little boys who are ready to face the day with great big smiles on their faces. Oh, where are the sun glasses.

When sorry isn't enough

No matter how much I grow as a person, I still find myself stuck as a child in this one place. It is so frustrating to be in this place, over and over. I know I am not a victim, so somewhere along the path, I make choices to behave badly. My question is why? Why can't I get passed this? I don't know if this happens to other people, but for me I seem to not learn a particular lesson. The worst part is that by not learning my lesson, I find the consequences much worse than if I had behaved differently.

It is like when we are talking to our boys when they don't tell the truth and find that the consequence for not telling the truth is worse than telling the truth and dealing with the consequences of the original behavior. When we ask them why do they do this? Their usual response, through the tears, is "I don't know." How much like children we parents can be? Or at least I am. So the question is when will I grow up? What is the pay off for behaving this way? And what would be the gain for changing? Oh I hate growing pains.

It's That Time of Year Again . . .

Summer!!! So the question is what to do with the kids. Argh!!! Mine love the structure of school and their friends. I honestly don't have answers. My main plan is to work as much at night as possible and play with the boys. I also hope to share a sitter with a fellow mompreneur. This girl is greatly in demand so I have to get my order in early. The good news is that I cannot wait to spend time with my little dudes. The pool is calling and so is the gym. I think it is going to be a great summer.

When the going gets tough . . .

I start a business. Some might say what are you thinking? It's going to be summer and your kids are going to be home from school. How can you build a business now? My answer, that's who I am. Today was a perfect example. I worked in my home office this morning for three different clients and also for myself. Then I took time to have a cup of coffee with a friend. Then it was off to pick up my youngest from school to go have a play date with a little buddy of his. While David and Evan played, his mom (my client) worked for two hours. We both had moments where we looked at each other and said, this is what it is all about. We talked, strategized and planned while we heard giggling and playing upstairs. Tammy's husband, who also runs a business, was on duty as a giant playmate. It just doesn't get any better than that. I ask you, how could I not start a business? Be stuck in a job from 9 to 5 while my kids are parked somewhere? I think not.

See a Need and Create a Company

It's amazing what can happen when a women sees a need. You hear it over and over; here is a good example. One women realized there are women who are highly successful and capable individuals who have chosen to stay home and raise their families. They have a lot to offer but limited time. She created an employment agency for these women. That's how the Mom's Corp. came into existence. Check it out.

So there are some good things to look forward to

The good news is that moms who juggle work and family tend to be thinner and healthier when they get into their 50's. It must be the constant juggling of schedules, running from meetings to soccer games. I am actually surprised because I assumed that busy women are forced into eating junk food on the run. Feel free to check out the article yourself. Working Moms Healthier, Thinner Than Stay at Homes

So it's True!

The results are in! Someone actually took time to figure it out. Most of us already knew, all they had to do was ask us. I am just sharing this with you for your reading enjoyment.

This year, Salary.com compensation experts have come up with a job analysis and these price tags for both categories:

• Stay-at-home moms work an average 91.6 hours a week. That should be worth $134,121 annually.
• Working moms also put in 49.8 hours a week on the job at home. They should get $85,876 a year.

The compensation analysts figure the lowest paying parts of a mom's job are housekeeper, laundry machine operator and janitor. Higher paying categories include computer operator, facilities manager, psychologist and family CEO. The Salary.com numbers are sure to stir up controversy. But this is not debatable: Moms simply are priceless, and nothing could compensate them properly for all they do.

So Is Boarding School The Option?

Today was a tough day. One of those days. As I was talking to another mom, we discussed what life would be like when our kids became teenagers. And suddenly the other mom got a far off look and said, I wonder when they are building the dorms for the boarding school. We both laughed. There are days when that seems to be an favorable option. And then I got home with my boys and had a nice evening that included a bath and lots of giggles. Argh!! It's exhausting. It's fun. I feel like I am at a movie, but it never ends. I laughed, I cried and I slept. And then it was another day.

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

You can hardly open a newspaper, browse the web or watch the news without hearing about the "Mommy Wars." Here I am writing about it. To me it seems counter productive to be pitting mothers against mothers. We are all mothers, first and foremost!!!! It does not matter whether we go outside the home to work, we have a business we run from the home or we make our home the business. We are all mothers. My thought, for what it's worth, is let's ban together and help each other. Let' support each other. We all make choices of how we live for our own reasons. Usually the choices work. More often than not, the kids turn out all right. I don't care what choice you make, there are times when you might feel like you did not make the right choice. Then there are times when you know the choice you made was the only one you could make. But the most important thing is not to dilute the reason we are making choices. Because we are individuals who are mothers. I say, give peace a chance.

Doctor is there anything I can do?

Okay, it's not that bad, well sometimes it is. I took David for his four year check up. It's always exciting! This is when I get to hear how big my boys have grown and where they fall in the percentile. They get weighed and measured. The nurses carry on how cute the boys are as they poke and prod them, and then they give their little arms a hug (take their blood pressure). After we go through the usual questions with the Doctor, yes he can jump, run and speak. He asks, "Is there anything you are concerned about?" Hmm, how do you ask a question when you know you are not going to like the answer. I said "Yes, any suggestions on how to work with a child that is full of energy and a bit challenging." There, I said it, out loud. And then I waited, as David rode the Doctor's stool around the examining room, for his words of wisdom. "Well, Mrs. Allen, you just need to be tough. When you say A, you must do A and don't get weak and give in to him. It the battle of the wills." I must say it was disheartening. I was looking for something a little less exhausting. So, as hard as it is to do, I must the be the "mean" mom until he gets over it. And I guess that's when they go off to college.