I'm Unemployable . . . And Now I Know Why

According to Judith Warner author of "Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety" women are forced to make choices that are substandard.

". . . [T]he structures of our society as they currently exist do not allow mothers to make meaningful choices," Warner wrote. "Too many [mothers] are forced to abdicate the dreams of a lifetime because the demands of the workplace are incompatible with family life. Others, in the quest to support their families, must 'choose' to consign their children to seriously substandard care. Others must abdicate their dreams of homemaking because it is simply too costly."

When I had my children I was already a business owner and choose to downsize the business and move it home to enjoy my boys. When I was ready to start gearing up again, I realized very quickly I could not do what I did before because my life had become very unpredictable. In fact, if I had a regular "job" this winter I would have been fired because of all of the illness my family had experienced. I have felt blessed to be an entrepreneur who can make my schedule work within the confines of my life.

It's not easy, but I must say it beats parking the kids at a center and having an hour during the day to learn what my boys are about. I just have to remind myself, all the time, they are only young for a short while and then I can keep my perspective.

The Report Cards Are In and We're Doing Just Fine?

I haven't had time to digest everything in the report, but according to ClubMom the "State of Mom" things are looking good for moms whether they work at home or outside the home. Check it out for yourself.

• Mom's are confident in their childrearing abilities (Go girl)

• They don't feel pressure to live up to society driven versions of a "Perfect Mom" (Amen)

• Would like more help from their spouses (Who wouldn't)

• Husband are good role models for their children (I second that emotion)

There's tons of information in this report and it is certainly worth reading. So go check it out. I find what works for me is having a balance of family, friends and work. Lots of play, lots of work and lots of rest. That doesn't mean it happens, but I know it works.

As Mother's Day approaches, it's a good time to do a personal pulse and see how things are going and if you are ok, great! And if you need a little more, now is the time to start asking.

When I grow up I will . . .

Here I am at 41 and I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up. I want to help people achieve their goals. It suddenly occurred to me that I am living my dream.

I was given a book called the Dreamgiver, which I read in two days. That's fast for me. The main theme of the book is that we are all born with a purpose and that we spend our whole lives trying to find out what the dream is. Most of us don't know that we are seeking this purpose. Once we realize it and we figure out what the purpose is, we spend the rest of our time stretching out of our comfort zone and trying to attain that dream. The only problem is that when we do this, we shake things up with the people we love. So the book clearly, through a parable/story, shares the challenges we face as we change and how it affects the world around us. Powerful!!!!

What is your dream? Are you living your dream? Who are the Giants in your life? Are you in the desert, parched and searching? Are there dream stealers in your life? All questions that are answered in this book. Get the book and live your dream.

An Attitude of Gratitude

I was just talking to fellow mom who had three boys (6, 4 & 1). She asked me if I had any ideas on how to teach an attitude of gratitude to her boys. She had just had a morning of whining and crying over not getting his way. She was beginning to be upset with his lack of appreciation for the things he has and the focus on what he wanted. At the moment I could not think of a thing. I too had experience similar attitudes. Was it just an age thing or were we not raising grateful children? It really made me think.

Then I called her back to check in and to offer the only thought that came to mind. What if you took the boys to a shelter or food bank and show them what it means to be without. We talked about various local possibilities and both felt encouraged. I feel committed to teaching the boys not only how fortunate they are but also how we need to serve others. I hope to make this a learning lesson over the summer.

It is great to be able to share with other moms and gain strength.

Market and Share

There was a time I would cringe when someone else would start a business like mine and I'd believe that was it, I am done. Then through time, maturity and some training, I realized that there is enough out there for everyone as long as we behave in our businesses. Once I got that, business became fun. Now I don't worry so much about market share but sharing my marketing and sales knowledge. It' s interesting what happens when you release that tension and you suddenly become open to the possibilities. The flood gates open up and truly everyone is provided for according to their effort.

I love to share and in turn, I have been well taken care of over the years.

If you don't like the picture, Reframe it!!!!

Yesterday I had a plan. It made sense and I had all the details worked out in my mind. Then reality set in. Of course my plan was not what happened. At first I was angry and discouraged. Then within minutes or maybe a few hours, I was able to get some perspective. What did I do to turn what seemed like a hopeless situation into a great thing? I reframed it.

I stepped back, looked at the situation with a new pair of frames on. Then with my new found wisdom I rewrote the plan. Now I am back on track and still on the same path. This worked for several reasons:

• I had a goal that was specific and measurable
• I wrote a plan and worked toward implementation
• Then when things did not go according to plan, I reviewed it and came up with a new strategy
• I kept my focus on the goal, not the plan

I have learned that even in small decisions, if you keep you eye on the goal, it will all come together. You must be open to change, flexible and steadfast.

Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting

What do you do with a boy who is full of life, energy and instinctively turns everything into a weapon? You give them Karate Lessons? Well, our thought is if he's going to be pretending to do karate with his friends, he should be schooled in the real thing. Karate will not just teach him technique but philosophy. And guess what, my son loves it and he's pretty good at it for a 5 year old.

Support is a good thing!!!

Today was a rough day. My heart was sad and I had that feeling like I wanted to get out of my skin. So what did I do? What any red blooded women would do, called a friend. I asked her if I could come over and just be with her. She was great!!! I was able to just be, I was fed and my son David took a nap. It turned my day around.

What started as a dramatic day and could have digressed into a pity party became a victory for me. What am I celebrating? I know how to take care of myself, how to ask for help and when to sit in my stuff. The good news is that I don't have to sit in it as long as I used to and I know when to reach out.

I guess that is another trait of a Streetsmart Mom.

Monday morning blues

It's Monday and David has the infamous stomach virus. It is so disheartening when the boys are sick. And, I must say this kind of sickness I can do without.

On top of that, I experienced poor customer service at our local computer store. After they told us we could return an item if it didn't work, I tried. Guess what, they did not have the cash. I dragged my poor sick son out to get this handled quickly so there would be no questions, and they tell me to come back this evening, or they could mail me a check from corporate. What's up with that???? We paid cash and of course we want cash back. Let's just say I am not happy. It's time to send in the big guns.

Well, we are home and resting, and I've cleaned David up again. So I guess we will just move on.

Something has to give . . . I guess it was my blog

It has been a week since I have blogged. I have tried to do this for days, quite frankly I have been so busy or so tired I just could not do it. So today, I am making time to catch up. What have I been up to?

• Closed two sales in my business;
• Planned and implemented a luncheon event for my children's school and helped out with book fair;
• Worked at church nursery, twice;
• Went to meetings/trainings;
• Participated on another event planning committee;
• Helped my sister with a major personal event;
  
• Met with my mastermind group; and
  
• General family activities and home activities.

So you can see it has been a busy week. I did fit some sleep in there. Oh yeah, we turned the clocks back and we are all off schedule. I am enjoying the added sunshine.

Keep It Simple

I know there are times when I just don't get it and then there is today. It suddenly came to me. It's all about slow, incremental growth by utilizing consistent behavior. No matter how little, doing it consistently.

So instead of lamenting about my schedule and the little time I have to be working on my business, I am working on it when I can. Basically I am picking myself up from my boot straps and doing what I said I would do.

I am also rejoicing and honoring the mom that I am the other time. As I sit here typing my 3 year old is trying to fall asleep and I am waiting to get my 5 year old. I cannot wait to get him and bring him home so we can pop some popcorn and watch a movie together. What a great feeling.

This is a major step. I am able to live in compartments that can overflow but don't have to. The best part is that I am content where I am.

Oh the sounds of silence . . .

Yes, the kids are back in school. I do miss them, and I must say that I am enjoying these moments of quite and inspiration. I am catching up on emails, making follow-up calls, setting my schedule for the next month and enjoying a "hot" cup of coffee. Yes, I said hot.

I know when I get my boys I will be happy to see them, yet I can say without guilt that it is good to have this time. They grow in their independence and they learn while I recharge and plug into the world again.

Thank you God for a moment of clarity and the joys you bring.

Blogged Down Without Inspiration

It's Friday, Good Friday, and for some reason I don't feel inspired. However, I have been trained to behave whether I feel like it or not, so here I am writing.

Today we have a play date and we are going bowling. I really am looking forward to that. I love spending time with other moms, specially if they are moms like me, streetsmart. Becka is that. Her boys are just wonderful, so all in all, it will be a great day.

I am looking forward to Easter, celebrating the joy of the season, for He is Risen In Deed. I am mostly looking foward to enjoying time with my family. The holidays are a great time. Why can't we capture that feeling all year long. I guess it wouldn't be special then.

Until Monday, unless inspiration takes over before then.

Speaking off the Cuff

Well we are still in the middle of Spring Break. Last night was a little haven in the middle of a busy week. I go to Toastmaster to hone my speaking skills as well as my listening skills. I also go to be with people who are looking to improve themselves. They are a great group of people. My favorite part of the meeting is Table Topics where you get the opportunity to develop you impromptu speaking skills. I was fortunate to win for the evening.

After the meeting a few of us went to catch a bite to eat. There I get to further develop friendships. I really appreciate the group of people I am meeting and how generous they are with their knowledge. I get to see how they care for each other and what they do to make themselves better. It keeps me focused on my priorities and grounded. What more could anyone ask for, a great meeting, good people, good food and then I get to go home to my resting family. It is like a flower in the middle of snow storm.

Spring Has Sprung

Sunday was the first day of spring. It was realitively warm and I really enjoyed a great weekend. I had my family in from NY and David, my 2 year old, got his big boy bed. He will be 3 next, so this is his birthday present from my Mom and Dad.

Meanwhile, my google alerts were busy bringing me articles about sales, sales coaches and moms who work. I read a great one from the DeMoines Register on moms who work and how they make their lives work for them. It was terrific.

Well today is Monday and the boys are on Spring Break. I will have to make sure I have a plan so we can have fun and I can maintain my sanity. I really enjoy my boys.

The reason I do what I do!!! 

Blue on a Green Day

It's St. Patrick's Day!!! Although I am not Irish I usually love to wear green and enjoy the day with my Irish friends. However, today I am blue because my boys are not feeling well and tomorrow starts Spring break. Normally Spring break would be a good thing, but for me it is more time that I cannot work. I don't like to feel unproductive. But I guess once I am in the swing of things, we will have fun and enjoy our time. I will work at night an during naps. I have to be honest, there are times when I have a hard time keeping my perspective and realizing what is important. Luckily it only last for seconds and then I hear a cute little voice and realize this is productive time. And my boys are the best little products I could ever want. Thank you for a moment of clarity on a blue day.

Hump Day - Wednesday

I realize today is Hump day, the middle of the week. For some reason I feel a little tired and quite frankly overwhelmed by the many things I need to do. So I find I am not doing much of anything. I hate this feeling. The good news is that this too shall pass and I will be productive. You see I am blogging and that is something.

I did make some calls and get online and do some research. I have checking out a new website www.hbwm.com dedicated to women business owners. It seems like a good site. I hope to learn there and meet some like minded people.

I also am enjoying time with David and looking forward to picking up Tom. The days really do fly. Tonight is church so we will be home late and hopefully I will have the energy to work on the computer tonight. I guess being a homebased working mom is filled with both joy and challenges. I wouldn't trade it in for anything.

My Why is as Important as my What!!!

So why am I doing this anyway? Why am I running a business, and streching out of my comfort zone. I only have two words for that - Thomas and David. They are my pride and joy.

- So when I don't make a sale, I think of them.
- When I feel overwhelmed, I think of them.
- When I feel like I don't want to get out of bed, I think of them.

They are my First Things First and the rest just falls into place. So when I am faced with decisions about activites or things that need to get done, I have a point of reference. I ask myself, does this make sense in my life right now. Is this going to fit into my life right now. Will I be a better mom to the boys. Will it enrich our lives. The answer must be yes, or I say no.

So once you know your why, the rest all falls into place.

Naps are a good thing!

I am sitting here typing as my 2 year old sleeps on the floor in the living room. For him life is a full speed and then at full stop, where ever he is. He just layed down and sleep was there. Oh I miss naps.

During his brief nap (please let me have a few more minutes) I have cleaned and disinfected the bathroom. Anyone with young boys around understands how crucial that might be. Are there courses in aim? Anyway, I also started a pot of chicken soup, threw in a load of laundry, caught up on email, made a phone call and a pot of coffee.

My husband and my 5 year old are out at the Railroad Musuem enjoying a father/son day out. So it is relatively quite.

Yesterday, we had a great day at our local St. Patrick's Day parade. The kids love all of that stuff, and I must say the grown ups do to. All in all it has been a great weekend. But I am still waiting for my nap.